Slippery Nipples

I have moved.

2005-11-24T01:55:00.000+08:00

Indeed, I have succumbed to the temptations of the dark side, and returned to the blogging sphere.

Visit me at http://perfectegg.blogspot.com

Don't ask about the address. It's a long story.

Going down.

2005-11-20T06:30:00.000+08:00

When I first started this blog, it was for the sole purpose of updating my friends, family & loved ones of my own life. These are the people whom I may hardly see in my lives, but they are also the same people who care about my life, my thoughts.

When I first started this blog, it was intended for private viewing.

But I have since invited strangers into my blog, my life.

I have also invited many other people from my real world, to my electronic world.

Today, I no longer see the need to maintain a blog, because I no longer find the motivation to write for the benefit of people who don't know me. I no find the motivation to write and censor my thoughts simply because there are so many people reading this.

I will be shutting down the blog, there will be no furthur entries.

Perhaps, one day, I will once again open up to invite strangers into my life, I will perhaps once again write on more than what my life is.

Perhaps.

But for now, my thoughts remain my own. Private, somewhere else.

The past always manages to catch up.

2005-11-13T22:50:00.000+08:00

No matter how much we want to forget it, how much we want to ignore it. No matter what we do, the past always manages to creep up somehow or another.

Like how you go past the block of flats where someone you used to date lives, and wonder how he's getting on, if he's still the way he used to be, or if he has changed his way. You think about the times that was spent with him, and wonder if it was worth it.

Or looking at the Friendster account of someone else, and wonder what life was like with him. You wonder if things would have been different if... Then you wonder also, how life has been for him, in terms of what he's done this time.

You wonder about your ex-es, wonder if they are the same to you they are to every other girlfriend they've had, or you were different. You wonder if he hurts every other girl the way he hurt you. You wonder if the things people say about him is true, and then you wonder why you never saw it in him.

Then that feeling inside just emerges. Isit a tinge of spite? Hate? Jealousy? Or bitterness? Are you glad he's moved on to someone else and happy, or are you wondering if he really is true to this girl he is with now.

And then you look at your life now, as it is, and you wonder if things would have been better if... Then you realise, there is no if, because all that matters, is here and now.

Stop whining!!

2005-11-13T13:48:00.000+08:00

For the past couple of weeks or so, one of the hot topics on everyone's lips is that of that Vietnamese Aussie PR who is set to be hung for drug trafficking in Singapore. Here in Singapore, we say, no big deal, people get hanged everyday for trafficking in drugs, and what's so bad about that? It's a crime and you have to pay for it.

Elsewhere, things just aren't as easy. This latest episode brings up yet again another criticism of the Singapore legal system. Capital punishment. Should there be any at all? Many argue no, because it violates human rights and you are basically trying to "play god" because no other human beings have the right to take away the lives of other human beings.

Ok, what if the person committed murder instead? He took away another person's life, and in that process he loses his right to live since he violated the sanctity of someone else's life first right?

Bringing ourselves back into the crime of drug trafficking. Everyday, thousands and millions of lives all over the world are ruined because of drugs and its effects. Who are those culpable and responsible for it? The drug dealers of course, and those who bring drugs to the people. The drug traffickers. If you are involved in the process of ruining someone's life knowing very well the harmful effects of drug-consumation, then haven't you knowingly committed the same thing a murderer has done, and hence has no right whatsoever to live?

Of course, this is a very base argument, exaggerated at certain points. But the fact remains that Nguyen committed a crime that may not be heinous, but a crime that helps perpetuates and encourages the drug problem, especially in this part of the world. So what if you were just carrying the drugs through Singapore and into Australia? Did you not have to come into Singapore to achieve that purpose? Does this not subject you to our laws?

Perhaps when it comes to the legal system, these things are subjective, there are loopholes in the law, many things can be argued. But there are things that can't.

Drugs are harmful, everyone knows that. Even your common panadol or aspirin sold over the counter/off the shelf can be harmful when taken in large doses. Morphine helps to ease the pain of patients but if over-administered can cause addiction in a person. We all know that addiction is a bad word. What more an addiction to drugs? Did you not know you were doing something morally questionable when you were smuggling them? Do you not admit you committed a crime, somehow?

Yes, you did it to save your brother who was in debt (because of his credit card bills, which I heard, were chalked up by the girlfriend), but does it make you any more innocent than you were?

Not to mention the millions of reports everyday, the most absurb being one that Australians were boycotting Singapore because of this issue. These reports bring no justice to the Singaporean legal system. Sure, our legal code may not be perfect, but hey, it does it most basic job, and that is to keep crime rates low and the country safe and secure. Can you gladly say the same for your country? We may not enjoy freedom of press, not much freedom of speech, but we have the freedom to walk out on the streets and night and not worry about being mugged/robbed/raped/molested/gunned down.

Besides, freedom, by whose standards? Yours or mine? Just because you have a different idea and standard of how freedom ought to be, it doesn't mean you can impose it on mine if ours differ.

The man committed a crime, and he should be punished for it. Regardless of whether or not he did it for his brother/mother/wife/daughter/cousin. So stop acting as though he was innocently charged for a crime he did.

Yummy!!!

2005-11-12T22:24:00.000+08:00

Yummy!!!
Originally uploaded by hecate.

Tried some new flavour from Myojo (some ramen thingy but actually a rival of Indomee's mee goreng in disguise), plus a sunny side up on top. YUMmmm..

7 Things Meme!

2005-11-11T03:28:00.000+08:00

Its 0330hours over here and I'm just thinking of going to sleep before carrying on with my revision in the morning. Planning to wake up at 9am and then head down to the lib to do some photocopying. Again. (Serial Photocopier. Me)

Anyway, here's the SEVEN THINGS MEME! *wide silly grin*

Seven things that scare me:
1. Losing my loved ones
2. Losing control of my thoughts
3. Not being able to exercise AkA play floorball anymore
4. Failing my exams and being a complete failure in life
5. Graduating from school and stepping out into the working world
6. Becoming fat
7. Becoming old and senile

Seven things I like the most:
1. Hugs and Kisses and lots of love
2. my iBook
3. snuggling in bed with Andrew (being with him in general)
4. the feeling of being free
5. playing floorball
6. sleeping
7. FOOD!

Seven most important things in my room:
Note: This question is designed to trick people lik e me. Why? Because I live in 4 different places simultaneously: my room @ home, my room @ Kuok, Andrew's room @ RVR, and my table at the Clubroom. :D
1. my iBook, with all my music inside
2. my speakers with the wonderful bass that costed only $35
3. the clubroom desktop! cause that's where all the music & videos come from
4. Andrew's Canon ixus I. Cause i'm a photoslut =)
5. the pillow that stinks. haha
6. my comforter on my bed @ home
7. my sister, for without her, my room would be super neat and super quiet. *wide grin*

Seven random facts about me:
1. I throw my things around, but I have a compulsive need for the workspace to be NEAT
2. I have a weak tummy, even though I eat alot
3. I like to spend money and buy things when I'm in a bad mood
4. I cook, wash, bake, and clean!
5. I check my email every 30 mins
6. I love to read, even my readings. :D
7. I have a compulsive need to check books out of the library every single time I step inside one

Seven things i plan to do before i die:
1. Start my own business
2. Get a driving license
3. Get a boating license
4. Get married and have kids
5. Go on a tour of Europe, especially Spain
6. Tell everyone how much I love them
7. Watch the sunset and sunrise

Seven things i can do:
1. Publish a magazine
2. Run a camp
3. Love everyone around me
4. Be happy =)
5. Sleep for only 3 hours and yet function normally
7. Eat like a pig
6. Not eat at all
7. Play floorball

Seven things i can't do:
1. cycle
2. play the drums
3. go without sleep
4. stop worrying about my loved ones
5. straighten my right knee
6. drive
7. roll my Rs

Seven words i say the most:
1. I'm hungry
2. I want to sleep/The Yongming syndrome has kicked in.
3. Wah lao eh!
4. Hmmm..
5. Orh..
6. Bleh
7. Har?

Seven Celeb crushes:
1. Johnny Depp!!!
2. The garderner who shagged Gabrielle in Desperate Housewives (he's how hot)
3. Eva Longoria (Gabrielle in Desperate Housewives)
4. Daniel Wu!
5. Angelina Jolie
6. Katherine Moennig (she plays a butch on The L Word, damn hot la I tell you)
7. The guy who plays Carlos on Desperate Housewives (I love Spanish men!)

Seven people i'd love to see do this:
Note: I have no idea who I want to do this, so I'll leave it blank, everyone wants to do is welcome!! =)
1.
2.
3.
4.
4.
5.
6.
7.

Deepavali

2005-11-02T21:49:00.000+08:00

Dinner at Jeremiah's was great. The food was fabulous, had all sorts of curry; vegetarian, chicken, fish, mutton, had prawns. Half a bottle of wine with Tiff, another half with Sharon. One shot of vodka for Andrew. It's just good.

Revision starts now though, gonna go RBR and then do all the readings at one shot so I can sit down and study for one shot.

Don't think I'll be going home this weekend.

Ouch!!

2005-10-30T15:17:00.000+08:00

Had a very wonderful sleep in my very cosy sleeping bag. Supposed to wake up at 8 with Puay Cher to go to the lib, but we both ended up sleeping until 12noon!! That girl rushed off to Church and I snoozed til like 2? Woohoo!

Wanted to go back to Kuok to have a nice bath and wash up and then pack up to go home, was walking up the steps when I suddenly trip on one of the steps and fell! Then I realised I had two big cuts at the bottom of my right big toe. Damn painful.

Hobbled back to Sports Club, thankfully Grace was there and she helped me to clean it up. =S

I am officially "pai kah" for the rest of the week.

Training

2005-10-30T02:37:00.000+08:00

Got to play defence today.

Somehow I really like defence more than forward, although I've been playing that position for the past few years.

True, when I play defence I can hardly shoot or score or whatever else I do, but with defence, I feel so much more comfortable and confident of my ball control & handling skills.

Ppleeasseee can I play defence again?

Rambling thoughts..

2005-10-29T02:23:00.000+08:00

Nothing seems to be of interest to blog about anymore, maybe I'm just getting tired with blogging..or perhaps I'm just too busy and tired with my everyday life to even think about blogging.

Been playing with the idea of committing blogicide, but I'm just playing with the idea. Perhaps when the holidays roll around and I need to get the writing/creative juices flowing, I'll start this thing rolling again.

Speaking of creative juices. The "all-new" SPORTLight was unleashed on the NUS population on Thursday and Friday. 1900 copies in total. One entire month of hard work from the writers, Jiexin and me! Seeing the completed version on your laptop/desktop and seeing it materialize into 2000 copies and being distributed all over NUS with every other random stranger holding on to a copy of your magazine are just two different things.

MY magazine. Ours. Everything is just so surreal. Never thought that a closet Photoshop-er like me would one day be able to print something and distribute it to 1900 individuals across campus.

Not to mention the sponsors/corporate people who will be getting a copy to see how we can help them in terms of advertisement.

It's just, amazing.

Life lately has just been Andrew, Canoe, Training, and days spent in the clubroom either 1)reading, 2)nua-ing, 3)napping. Days are spent replying emails, sending emails, trying to keep up with schoolwork.

Ah, schoolwork. Comm is closing, training is stopping, just cause the exams are here.

Once again I'm faced with the horrible thought that my grades will be horrible, and once again I'm at that crossroads I face every half a year since last semester.

Will I be doing my honours?

For now, no one knows. Not even me.

Anyway, just attended SMU Sports Awards Night. Interesting, to say the least. Things are done very differently there. The sports community is so small everyone knows everyone.

Later went to celebrate Jiexin's birthday. The youngest member of our committee! =)

Took lots of pictures, but I'm just too damn tired to post them. Will do so after Tuesday @ Jere's house for Deepavali (or isit Deevapali?).

Andrew's got a new camera, Canon Ixus i (or something like that, its an ixus for sure), and we're both enjoying ourselves with it. *damn photosluts we are*

So I guess there'll be more pictures.

Stay tuned.

Imperfect

2005-10-09T19:00:00.000+08:00

In your eyes,

I will always be flawed.

I will always be imperfect.

I will always be too stupid, too fat, too short, too emotional, too insecure, too jealous, too possesive, too overbearing, too helpless.

No matter how hard I try to be supportive.

No matter how hard I try to be there for you.

No matter how hard I try to make you happy.

I will never be perfect in your eyes.

To you, I am always flawed & imperfect.

But in your eyes, will I ever be that figure of flawed perfection?

Nightmare

2005-10-02T10:48:00.000+08:00

I had a horrible nightmare yesterday which never seemed to end;

I dreamt that I was taking modules like FNA1002 (AGAIN!) and SC1101E. Then I realised I had two tests on the same day, one after another and I didn't study for it. THEN, the worst thing was I realised I WAS ONLY TAKING 4 MODULES!! *argh* I even took out my PRESENT timetable to count the modules and IT WAS THE SAME!!! *double ARGH*

That Sovil et Titus movie

2005-09-25T02:52:00.000+08:00

Those old enough to remember, will remember that very cliche watch ad that goes, 不在忽天长地九，只在忽曾经永有.

Ad is cliche, but the movie ain't.

For those not in the know, the movie is set in World War II, Andy Lau plays a KMT pilot who comes from a family of pilots. Jacqueline Wu plays a swaku, innocent village girl whose entire village rescues Andy from his crashed plane and nurses him back to health.

Needless to say, the pair spend alot of time together and fall in love, blahblablah..

Later, Andy manages to go back to his squadron, away from Wu, but she travels all the way to the city to look for him. They reunite.

One fine day, Andy is sent to a mission which he has no chance of survival. The day of his departure, a plane explodes on the runway.

Upon knowing that he might return, everyone clears runway. Everyone thinks they won't return and retreat. Wu, desperate for him to come back, clears runway on her own and lifts heavy debris. Andy's mom is impressed.

Ending? Andy comes back and they live happily ever after.

Ok, on second thoughts, it is a pretty lame movie. But think about this, because of the love she has for Andy, no matter what happens, the love that she has gives her strength to even move plane debris! Wow!

No but seriously, I think what the movie is trying to say is that love transcends all odds, and I guess it does a pretty ok, albeit cliche job of doing this.

Would you move mountains for the ones you love? I know people who can and would. But what about you?

For goodness' sake...

2005-09-24T02:56:00.000+08:00

STOP POSTING COMMENTS ON MY BLOG SOLICITING YOUR CRAP BLOG!!!

Things you do when you are bored # 56479

2005-09-24T01:40:00.000+08:00

You recover a copy of "Sportlight" February 2003 and amuse yourself with an interview conducted by a predecessor who is also the big brother of a friend.

It's 1.40am and the night seems amazingly long. Arrived at clubroom at about 8 or 9pm earlier, sat for a while, and at 11pm it seemed like 3am already.

So this is what it feels like to have nothing to do.

Actually, I do have alot of things to do, its just that, hmm, for some reason I feel so free.

So I basically spent half the evening reading emails, replying emails and cursing and swearing at writers who write a good 1000+++ word article when I SPECIFICALLY told them to stick between 700 to 1000.

Not forgetting the sub clubs who give you last minute articles.

Now I have to re-sort my entire magazine.

Thanks people, now I have to cut and paste everything I did.

No actually, I love all of you! I'm serious. Nothing better knowing that you've got great response from both the NUS body and sub clubs.

Also, nothing better knowing that you can start work early on the next issue.

Nothing better knowing that this issue will be a blast (if I can get past the sorting thing, that is).

Of course, nothing is without challenges, as my dear boyfriend-confidante-huggy/fuzzy/hairy bear-resident irritant-perm. resident in my life Andrew would put it;

"Your greatest challenge and success is not about making sure everyone reads the magazine. Rather, it would be to ensure that the changes you implement will be continued after you leave."

How true.

Thanks for the reminder, and the trip back to earth. =P

On another note, I kinda like blogging like this. In sporadic sentences and paragraphs. Sure makes it easier to read my crap too.

Going home tomorrow, I hope mom makes a smashing good home cooked dinner-cum-belated birthday celebration.

Whee.

Feels so good...

2005-09-22T22:05:00.000+08:00

...after training. Never felt so full of energy in a while.

Uncomfortable.

2005-09-22T10:32:00.000+08:00

"I am not comfortable with this at all", she said.

"If she was a friend and she respected our relationship, then why did she do what she had to do?", asked the face.

"She didn't have to do say the things she did," she said.

"Why does it seem that she's in a more important position for me?", the face said.

"She doesn't know alot, she doesn't know too much to say anything", she said.

"I don't like this at all either", the face said.

Deadlines!!

2005-09-22T02:47:00.000+08:00

Managed to finish up half my essay today.

And a few articles the day before.

Will have more work to do tomorrow. Meeting in the morning, hopefully a short nap before training in the evening, and then study like mad for my test on Friday.

Went for a run at West Coast too.

Helped Sean with his marketing project and at the same time trying (desperately) to improve my (non-existent) portfolio.

Today I saw him smile. He flashed the widest and biggest smile I've seen in a long, long time.

I wonder when I'll be able to see the same kinda smile again. The feeling is just so, heart-melting.

I'm that girl

2005-09-19T02:07:00.000+08:00

Like my dear cousin who is also brooding at the moment, I just felt like reminiscing. Also, in honour of MercerMachine, who started it all

I'm that girl who stayed up late to talk to you, despite knowing that my dad would be very pissed if he found out I was up so late.

I'm that girl whom you sang countless songs to, only to make me fall even furthur.

I'm that girl who had a crush on you for 2 years, and having no courage to tell you about it.

I'm that girl who stays up at night worrying about your health, about whether you could keep up at your age, running to and fro to take care of your parents.

I'm that girl who spent 12 hours on the phone with you, talking about everything and nothing at all.

I'm that girl who made you brownies, failing in the second batch where it was just plain tasteless and yet you said they were sweet enough.

I'm that girl who wakes you up every morning, despite not having enough sleep myself, despite having to be late for my lessons.

I'm that girl who kissed you on the cheek at the bus stop when my bus arrived, knowing that you wouldn't have known what to do.

I'm that girl who lay on your shoulder on the MRT, because I didn't know what to do or say when I received Brownie.

I'm that girl worries about your well-being day and night, praying that you'll be able to get through it all.

I'm that girl who misses you like crazy.

I'm that girl who stays up late to write you letters, hoping that you'll feel better.

I'm that girl who feels the same pain you do.

I'm that girl who sits here and wonders if you see and you acknowledge the things I do for you, wondering if this just creates a dependancy that doesn't entail love.

I'm that girl who made you cry, because I wouldn't take you back.

I'm that girl whom you foolishly tried ways and means to make me happy, only to have me hate you for doing the things you do.

I'm that girl used to hit you on your shoulder with my water bottle.

I'm the girl whose handphone you stole from my bag, despite all the trust I had in you.

I'm the girl who cried because she felt she wasn't a good enough captain.

I'm the girl takes risks, and makes stupid mistakes.

I'm the girl who wonders why she has to be put in stupid situations.

I'm the girl who feels the occasional melancholy.

I'm the girl who broods once in a while.

I'm that girl who feels uncertainty over things between you and me, because I'm not sure of how you feel about me. I'm also that girl who is afraid of telling you this because I don't want to make you feel I'm forcing you into a long term commitment, because I'm not.

I'm that girl who worried about how life would be when you were gone. Only to realise years later that all this while I was drawing strength from your legacy, to be what I am today, to be who you always wish I would be.

Yeah, I'm that girl, who are you?

Collide

2005-09-14T01:59:00.000+08:00

The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you
Yeah

But I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find, you and I collide

I'm quiet, you know
You make a first impression
I've found I'm scared to know
I'm always on your mind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
You somehow find, you and I collide

Don't stop here
I've lost my place
I'm close behind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find, you and I collide

You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide

It's amazing how the words of just one song can say so much about the relationship between you and a person.

It's even more amazing that the song just touches you so deep you don't even know where to start.

Wrote him a letter, hope it would make him feel better. There are alot of things I might not be able to do for him, but I hope the little gift lets him know that he's not alone in this, that I'm with him, holding his hands each and every step along the way.

Don't cry,
Wipe the tears from your eyes.
Don't cry,
Sleep with the souls tonight.
There's nowhere to run, nowhere to hide,
Fear is a monster, no end in sight,
no screaming, silent screaming,
tonight, close your eyes,
Dream..

Let me be the one to hold your hand and make everything better.

I worry I won't see your face,
Light up again...

Memories, nostalgia..

2005-09-11T02:11:00.000+08:00

It's so hard to make the first step to walk away from something you've known all your life and start on something new..

It's even harder to come back and see how much that thing has improved by leaps and bounds..

It's worse when you realise just how much you miss playing with this bunch of people, whom you've learnt to grow with, whom you shared so much of your life with..

Absolutely gutted when you also realise just how much the team doesn't need you anymore, but yet you still miss playing with them, when all the memories just flood back..

Gutted, just gutted.

Sports Ball 2005

2005-09-08T01:12:00.000+08:00

Event was fun, took alot of photos.

Pics coming up soon!!!!!!

Time for a diet.

2005-09-01T01:24:00.000+08:00

Was getting dressed after shower and realised with horror that the size of my tummy has grown to epic proportions.

Damage control is as follows:
- Strict diet consisting of one meal per day, low carbo, high in fibre and protein
- Running every day

This damage control will be implemented w.e.f Thursday, 1st September 2005, and will continue until subject's weight goes down by 10kg, or size of tummy reduces by 6 inches, whichever is achieved first.

26th MC Publications Director

2005-08-29T00:14:00.000+08:00

After a 12 hour election yesterday, we finally managed to decide for ourselves who we wanted to lead us, and who we wanted working with us in the various different posts.

Yes, the NUS Students' Sports Club 26th management comm is born, we are still very young, with many positions still unfilled, but everything is more or less in place, and we're pretty ready to face the world! Heh heh..

It's gonna be a busy year, but fulfilling. It seems almost as if I'm back into my OI days kinda mode, where I did anything and everything.

Saw on Beng's blog about his concerns with production, as well as his field of study. Coincidentally I've also been thinking about the importance of grades. If I make it to honours, good for me, what if I don't, would a B+ average and a B make alot of difference?

Introducing the SE Z520i

2005-08-24T01:52:00.000+08:00

Was surfing and came across this little beauty:

The SE K520I. It's not exactly a phone packed with lotsa functions, but its good enough for me. A VGA camera, bluetooth, and MP3 ringtones. Problem is, the memory is not expandable, but it should be enough for me.

Birthday gift for me, anyone?

Blogger launches flag for objectionable content.

2005-08-24T00:19:00.000+08:00

If you guys would care to take a look at the top right corner of my blog, just next to the "next blog" button, you'd realise a new button called "flag".

What does this do?

Basically, the "flag" button enables users to flag a particular blog if its deemed to have "objectionable content". This way, Blogger is able to be notified about such blogs and clean them up.

Not a bad idea, considering the vast amount of blogs Blogger has registered under its domain.

The only problem is, what do you mean by "objectionable"? The word alone is so subjective, not only to individuals, but to different cultures. As we already know, the World Wide Web is accessed by people from so many different countries and cultures all over, and the term "objectionable content" holds different values for these people. So how would Blogger really know what is objectionable and what is not?

Seems like this little nifty tool, while it would bring some convenience to the Blogger admin, may prove to be pretty troublesome when it comes to reviewing the different blogs which have such content. In fact, the trouble here is not about reviewing them, but about being answerable to those who reported the content.

For You

2005-08-23T13:31:00.000+08:00

For you I'd walk across the deserts,
Barefoot & thirsty.

For you I'd gladly play the fool,
If only to see you smile.

For you I'd give up a thousand heartbeats and more,
For you I would.

For you I'd give up the breathe to life,
So that you, can breathe it for me.

For you I'd give my last piece of bread,
I'd give up my heart and soul,
My everything,
Just to see you smile,
Just to see you smile.

Counting on you..

2005-08-23T13:23:00.000+08:00

Cause I've got you,
To pull me through another day,
And you've got me,
Together we will find a way.

Most people my age feel tend to feel slightly estranged from our parents. What I mean by this is that, we tend not to tell our parents what's going on in our lives. Not that we don't want to, but sometimes it's just a hassle to explain to your parents why you're doing xxx, or running for xxx comm. It's just so much easier to share all these with your friends who more or less know what's going on.

When people are single, when we run into problems, we tend to look towards our friends for support. When we need help, the people we run to are our friends. What happens if we get attached to someone else? We run to the other half for support of course.

Comparatively, somehow we always expect stronger support from our bf/gfs than from our friends. Perhaps its because that person has become such an important figure in your life, he's not yet family, but close enough for you to share your problems, misgivings, doubts, happiness, joy etc etc with.

When things start to fall apart, or when the going gets tough, we naturally would want to look towards these people for support, for a hug, or even an arm to hold on to, the simple action that says, "Hang in there, 'cause whatever happens, I'll be here for you". Sometimes, it doesn't even need to be a simple hug. Sometimes, its just that little action of chipping in and helping you do whatever you need to do, to help you keep on with whatever is holding you down.

Eventually, I know that I've got you simply because I know you'd be there for me. I know I can pull through because I know I've got you. But sometimes, ever so, that little sometimes, you stop feeling the support there. Unfortunately, its always the most crucial times that you stop feeling all these.

I need to feel you here again,
I need you feel your strength behind me.

The issue of Forever.

2005-08-23T13:03:00.000+08:00

Every girl and guy dreams of the day that they can finally find the person they are able to spend their life with. Every other person we start to fall for, we wonder if he/she will be the one.

Perhaps this is what makes break ups and arguments so heart breaking, the fact that you stop to see forever being a possible dream, the fear that forever may not exist afterall.

So what is forever, does this hold? If this does, for how many does forever actually materialize?

With the increase in education, in a world where communications bring different cultures and ideas into our lives, our generation is one who is at the same time both skeptical but yearns for the idea of love and eternity ever so. More of different ideas and cultures test the strength of human relationships. As much as we would like to deny it, human relationships are now different from the time of our parents and grandparents. It now seems harder to find love and keep it, likewise for friendships.

Should we even continue to search? That is the question, or should we just be content with the fact that forever continues to be elusive and we may never be able to find it at all?

S.P.A.S.H

2005-08-19T22:10:00.000+08:00

Nothing is better than worrying about your event, and end up having it turn out well. We might not have made a profit, but it was well worth it, it seemed happening, the MCs did a really good job, thanks Grace and Johnny!!!!

Nothing is better than having someone from NTU tell you that the bash was damn happening, and even more happening than the bashes held by NTU.

Nothing is better than having the most important person in your life tell you how much S.P.A.S.H rocks, ending with a "job well done".

Thanks for all who come to S.P.A.S.H, thanks for all the support!!! Love all of you!! Especially the one who doesn't club but spent $40++ to support me. *muks mucks*

Sports Bash O Comm rox!!! (as well as Sports Camp O comm of course, hahaha)

On a sidenote, the past week has been hectic, and the weekend will continue to be so. Update when I am free!!!

Meeting strangers, and the like..

2005-08-16T12:39:00.000+08:00

The most amusing thing about being in Sports Camp O-comm is that wherever you go around in school, there may be people who know you but you never really can register their faces. I Recall this incident that happened today;

Me: (walking from busstop to Central Forum)
Freshie: (walks past and smile) hi!
Me: (not too sure who this guy is) oh hi
Freshie: familr face? Sports Camp
Me: Oh!!! ok, hi hi!

This is just one of the many other incidents I have encountered, and more often than not, it is always embarrasing because I don't know who these people are and hence I don't know how to react, and even after they introduce themselves as Sports Camp freshies, it is still a little bit embarrasing for me.

Hence, in future when people smile at me or say hi, I'll just smile back. It's the safest because if you don't smile, people will think you're very arrogant and proud. If you say hi outwardly, it's just wierd because there is always the case where people might have recognized the wrong person (trust me, it has happened to me before, being mistaken for someone else). Hence, the best way is to just, smile.

=D

Words, or the lack of it..

2005-08-14T21:28:00.000+08:00

A friend was recently commenting that she does appreciate the things that her boyfriend does for her, and yet she openly admits that she is really bad at expressing her appreciation for her boyfriend and is worried that her boyfriend may not realise her appreciation.

I can fully understand how she feels because I've been put in such a position. There has been countless things that Andrew has done for me, even the simplest things which he may/may not realise, and I really do appreciate him for doing all these. But just like my friend, I am really bad at expressing my appreciation.

Sometimes, we might try to express it with a hug or a kiss, or something similar, but he may/may not realise what that action is for. Then these things start to surface about "you not appreciating the things I do for you". But the thing is, sometimes, its just hard for some people to say certain things, and perhaps my friend and I are that kind of people.

Its not that I don't see the picture on the other end though, guys tend to be less vocal when it comes to their emotions as well, some prefer to let their actions do the talking, others say it in more subtle manners.

The thing is, while I've been less than vocal with my appreciation for others, I've come to realise the importance of words and the use of it through these experiences. We use words everyday, when we write, speak, basically to communicate with each other. However, we also sometimes neglect and even take for granted how powerful the spoken word can be. In a moment of folly, we can say things that we might regret later.

More often than not however, we always forget how words can express our feelings in such a way that actions sometimes cannot (and vice versa in other cases, of course). Sometimes, its so much easier to say "I really appreciate what you did for me", rather than a simple peck on the cheek. Afterall, isn't it always easier to kiss and make up than to actually say sorry?

Somehow though, the effect of lowering your pride to say "thank you" is so much greater, and reaches so much deeper in than any other everyday action can. The question however, is how many of us can actually do that?

Hmm..

2005-08-06T01:45:00.000+08:00

Been so busy that I don't know where and how to start updating the blog. Maybe I will, soon enough.

In the pipelines is a guest entry by Andrew. He is STILL working on it though, for about 4 days now.

Alot of problems, alot of stress, all I can say is, the beginning of the academic year is always the ugliest, because of the immense amount of money spent moving into school, buying textbooks/readings, spending senselessly at Bazaars, as well as other activities.

After August, I will be officially pooped.

Hmmm.

I've officially quit MI, and will be attending selections for NUS on Thursday. So many doubts on my mind, so many fears, so many questions.

I'm throwing away 5 years of my social life for one/two years of a chance at representing the school. The things is, I don't even know if I have a chance. The fear of stepping into the unknown. Bloody shitty.

As I walked out of MI after saying my goodbyes, I can't help but feel a sense of emptiness. Walking out of a life I've known for 5 years, it's like all the experiences and memories were just imagined and not real. It's like breaking up a relationship you've had for 5 years. So difficult, and yet it's something you feel you have to do.

I'm gonna miss OSB Owls, especially the people I've known and played with for so long, the people I've bitched and gossiped with, the people I've won games with, the people I've lost games with, we trained hard together, ours muscles ached and we groaned when our coach was in PMS mode. We laughed together, we cried together.

Now I'm leaving all this behind to do the same old thing with a new group of people. The thing is, is this going to be the same old feeling? I don't know.

Alas, the step has already been taken, and so begins my walk into the unknown come Thursday.

Wish me luck people.

Whatever

2005-07-30T20:49:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I wonder why I even bother explaining myself when it seems futile.

Maybe I shan't.

Maybe next time I should just shut up.

Matric Fair - 2 Down, 2 to go

2005-07-27T03:13:00.000+08:00

Been at Matric Fair since Monday, and will be there til Thursday. It's amazing how tiring it can be, just sitting at the booth from 9am to 5pm, waiting for freshies to come and sign up with your club, at the same time drinking free Pokka Lemon 1000 (new product), checking out deals from sponsors (ranging from free hair dye to super cheap coloured contacts - planning to buy!), and walking around the different booths checking out their different activities and courses to join for myself, and disturbing my friends.

Matriculation Fair, or Matric Fair, as we all call it, is THE day when all freshmen officially become NUS students. This is the day they collect their matriculation card (or student id), as well as other documents like their login ID and passwords for the school network. To furthur enrich their experience and welcome them to NUS life, laptop companies are invited to set up booths to sell laptops to them at discounted rates.

Of course, how can a such an "induction" fair be complete without a display of the various CCAs that NUS has to offer? Organised by the students' union - NUSSU, the matric fair consists of booths set up by all the CCAs in NUS, as well as the respective Faculty Clubs. In short, this is something that every freshmen better go through, or else they spend their entire first year in NUS without any CCAs (whether this is good or not depends on the individual).

I'm at the Canoeing Sub Club booth this year, and boy is it one hell of an experience. First day was a mad rush setting up booth (cause I was pretty lazy to set it up the day before), then you encounter all sorts of people asking about canoeing and the sport. To top it all off, the first day all of us were perspiring in the hall because the air-con wasn't switched on at all! Apparently complaints were made to the organisers but nothing was done.

So, that was how I spent my past two days, at Matric Fair. I've got two more to go, today and tomorrow, and it's gonna be damn looong, it's just amazing how tiring it can be doing nothing. Haha.

Anyway, piece of interesting information. This year's cohort, we realised, was much smaller than when we were freshmen because the fair didn't seem to be as crowded as we remembered it when we were freshies ourselves. The reason behind this, according to Bon, is because this year's batch is the 1986 batch - for the female freshies of course. Since 1986 happens to be the year of the Tiger, according to Chinese tradition, there tends to be less children because couples who are more superstitious don't want Tiger babies. Hence the explanation for the small number of female freshies.

As for the small number of male freshies who are born in 1984, I have no idea man!! I'm just looking forward for this to be over soon.

Peace out.

Art in Singapore; safe or shocking?

2005-07-22T22:25:00.000+08:00

The Singapore Art Museum is currently undergoing a massive makeover, all in a bid to provide for a more conducive environment for the arts to flourish in Singapore.

My only question is this, in order for most of Singapore to sit up and get involved in the local arts scene, should more be done?

As far as I am concerned, the local arts scene to me has been relatively "safe". Not alot of controversial works, except for the one or two, if you consider Paddy Chew, which I think, in this day, is no longer controversial. What about that piece of innocent painting that the public mistook to be a vagina? Nothing new also, after all, it's a piece of abstract painting and you can take it as whatever you think it is.

So, alot of the art being showcased in Singapore, as well as at SAM, have been on the "safe" side, paintings reflecting life as we all know it. But would these paintings contribute to making the local populace sit up and pay more attention to art? Would having world class artists and performances at a world class Esplanade/SAM suddenly invoke interest in your average working class man/woman who has no prior knowledge of the art world?

In that case, why can't we have shocking art pieces? Imagine a painting where, men in bondage gear, whipping the hell out of each other, with their genitals in full view? How would the media react? How would everyone else react? Perhaps the initial public outrage, but at the same time, it would also lead people to want to take a look at this painting, to see what the whole deal is. People want to take an interest, to find out about the painting's background, as well as what the artist intends for the painting to mean. From there, more interest would then be generated for all kinds of art, thus involving even the everyday, simple man into the art world, to know and learn to appreciate all art forms.

This may be a simplified form of explanation, ludicrous to some even, but think about it, isn't it a good way to raise awareness about art among your average Singaporean? The one who cannot tell a Monet from a Van Gogh, a Picasso from a Dali. By introducing a few sensational art pieces every now and then, you get the public to sit up and say, "Hey, I never knew art was this interesting, let's go and see what the entire hoo-haa is about." Of course, you will always have those who go, "Chey! Only one like that, the rest is all so boring!". But imagine the outreach you will get. Compared to only a small percentage of the population presently aware of what happens in terms of the arts scene, the number may grow at a smaller, but definitely steadier rate than if things remain as status quo. Sure, you will generate alot of public uproar, and the MITA (which I must say, the building is horrendous) will receive alot of slack from it, and the Parliament, would DEFINITELY open a session to discuss it. At the end of the day however, the kind of publicity you get for that particular art piece, and subsequently, for the rest of the art world in Singapore, will definitely go furthur than whatever the MITA is doing presently. Think bad publicity for artistes, who sometimes generate them on purpose, just to get themselves noticed (you think Britney marry and re-marry for fun isit?).

It's a pretty far-fetched notion, but I'm quite certain it may just work. Also, what better way to prove the extent of liberalisation in our society than to prove it in the quality of the artworks we import and the shows we put up at SAM?

Hacked!

2005-07-22T00:54:00.000+08:00

Latest on the blog-o-sphere is that some of the local blogs have been hacked. Among the more high profile ones is that belonging to Xiaxue. Yep, her blogs, all 12 of them, 3 years of hard work, all her emails as well, are all gone.

Alot of people have come out to say alot of things about her blog being hacked. Some have been sympathetic, some have been mean. Alot of people have commented that she probably deserves it, that this is her karma for being mean to so many others in her blog posts.

Xiaxue isn't exactly my favourite blogger in Singapore, and I certainly don't agree with alot of the things she writes in her blog, but I feel that it is unfair that her blog should be hacked for these reasons. Sure, you hate her, but it doesn't give you the right to destroy all that. 3 years of work down the drain, among so many other things are alot of her memories, from her daily life.

Among some of the arguments put forth by her supporters is that the blog is her private space and she should be given the liberty to say what she want. I have disagreed simply because she is no longer a private figure on the local blogging scene, and thus what she says have to be moderated to a small extent because of the outreach of the blog. Nonetheless, I believe that while this may be the case, her blog, at the end of the day, belongs to her. It is not public property to be disposed of without anyone's permission, much less hers.

I think as far as Xiaxue is concerned, her blog is her public property to begin with because it is how she earns a living through. Without her blog, she basically wouldn't have achieved what she has today. To destroy her blog would be akin to destroying her means of life, is that fair, I ask? To take away a person's livelihood simply because you dislike that person?

If you hate her, you can form as many hate-blogs as you want, you can leave as many hate comments everywhere as you want. I am not Xiaxue, but I do know the heartache of having your own blog destroyed because I have gone through the experience of having a website/email account/IRC (yes thaaat long ago) account hacked into. The loss, compared to hers is little, but the damage is just as great. All the time spent retrieving lost accounts, explaining to everyone else why "you" went around calling others names in emails, why the spam etc.

If you don't like what she writes, then don't read her. Its as simple as that. Afterall, who is she to you? Just some other person in virtual reality, if you choose to shut yourself from her, she is as good as she never existed.

To that person who hacked into Xiaxue's (and some others) blogs;

Shame on You.

I am not ready to go.

2005-07-20T00:59:00.000+08:00

I was sitting at the bus stop outside Old Kent Ridge, opposite SRC just this evening, waiting for Andrew to come meet me to go up to his room. Sitting there, looking at my surroundings, watching people walk to and fro. Thoughts just flooded my brain faster than you can say Holy Cow.

I watched people walk from YIH to SRC, using that linkage. Then I remember myself walking there so often, with the people I now call my friends. Then I remember all the stuff that I've spent my 2 years in NUS doing. I remember how I hated doing all the work, but loved it at all the same time. How I dreaded it, yet I realised how much fun it was doing it with my friends, in retrospect. Then, at 2030hrs, 19th July 2005, Tuesday, it dawned upon me;

I'm not ready to leave NUS!

Not yet. Not when my life is getting so fulfilling, doing all the things I like to do, knowing the people that have made life so fun and interesting and fulfilling for me. Knowing that I can never meet these kind of people, that I can never do the things I have been doing in two semesters time.

I have only one more year, translating into 2 more semesters at NUS. I made the decision to skip my honours year and just graduate with a Bachelor in Soc Sci last term, with my grades being far less than perfect. Most importantly, I just don't want my parents to spend anymore of their precious time slogging their life out just so that I can have a good education because, what does education mean if I cannot give them a good life after I graduate with the same education that they work so hard for?

So instead of my parents having to rough it out in the cold hard world for two more years, I decided to discount myself that one year, and give them that one year less of work. Because they are getting old, because their bodies are no longer as hardy as before, because they have already done so much for me.

Yet, when I see all that is around me at NUS, I realised that I am not ready to go. I am not ready to face the working world when I enjoy studying, when all I've wanted to do since I've decided to do my As, is to reach my honours year, and graduate from university with a 2nd lower and above.

I'm in a dilemma, I really want to go ahead and get my honours, because I enjoy doing what I'm doing. I may not be the best student with straight As, but I like to study what I've been studying, and I think that's really important because in life, alot of us don't always get the opportunity to do what they like to do, yet when I have this opportunity, I seem to be throwing it away...

For the sake of my parents and my family, should I throw it away? I know my parents would tell me to go ahead because it's ok, but I know inside, it's not ok. My parents long for the day to come when they can finally stop working full-time and do what they have always wanted to do. So what should I do now?

For once I agree with XX

2005-07-16T00:47:00.000+08:00

Xiaxue, that is. Yes!! MercerMachine and all my other XX hating comrades-in-arms, I ACTUALLY AGREE WITH ONE OF XIAXUE's POSTS!! *gasp in horror*

Before everyone starts calling me a sell-out, let me explain why.

Actually, I don't really have to explain, just read her post on Channel 8's top retards and you might just agree with her too!

To start off, Xiaxue actually made some good points about how Channel 8 hardly ever produces good TV dramas, they are either some charity show hosted by "C******e", or some drama endorsed by NKF or something. In the beginning, the idea was still pretty good, getting some outside organisation to endorse some TV programme that people would watch and hopefully strike their hearts. One thing channel 8 has to realise is that, there is such a word called OVERKILL. Otherwise it's some lame drama revolving around some kind of food. VERY TRUE!!

Point 2, which is actually the crux of her entry, is about how Channel 8 should stop putting in "retards" in every drama serial, she then goes in to list some actors which are damn irritating acting "retards". (Cali if you're reading this, no offense to the neighbour, he is cute in that role though! hehe)

I actually agree with her about her entire point because it is pretty insensitive of Channel 8 to keep typecasting people in these roles. If it was the intention of the script writer to raise awareness about people who may be mentally challenged among our midst, I think it's a total failure. What these actors and their roles have served to do instead, is to make it seem that these people are being mocked. Not very nice I would say. How would you like if some idiosyncracy of yours is being exaggerated by someone else on TV? You wouldn't like it too, I'm quite sure.

I don't have anything against Channel 8 and the dramas they produce, but I do agree that the use of people who are mentally challenged is getting way overboard. I used to have a misconception of people with Down's Syndrome or autistic children, but I have friends who work with these children professionally, and by talking to them, and listening to their experiences, these people are as normal as you and me. So what if they are different in terms of their intellectual ability and the way they behave, it doesn't really give you a reason to single them out from many other people.

I think its a Singaporean mentality when it comes to people we don't consider "normal". Under this category falls the above-mentioned, as well as those with physical disabilities. We TRY not to gawk and stare at someone who is blind, or has only one hand/leg, we act like it's normal and that we accept these people as they are. But come on, who are you kidding? You know in your heart that once they don't look, you start staring at them and making comments. We make a big show out of these people, often showing that we care in ways that are just plain ostentatious. Someone helps a blind lady across the street, hey, you don't have to STARE at the person who helped. If I gave up my seat to an old auntie on the train, you don't have to STARE at me like I'm some alien.

It's true that some people with disabilities need the extra attention or help. But we must understand that the extra attention you give them does not give you the right to gawk or mock at them. I think people with physical disabilities can sometimes be quite self-conscious of their surroundings, so why do we need to make it worse for them to blend into our society? You can help them, but don't stare and click your tongues and go tsk tsk tsk, so poor thing. The keyword here is to empathize, not sympathize.

For once, I agree with Xiaxue, and I'm not ashamed to say it because it does appeal genuinely to a real cause. Plus, it's not overly callous, unlike some of her previous posts which have generated alot of disapproval from many in the blogging community, yet the language is harsh enough to get her point across and strike at whoever its meant to strike (although whether or not they read it is another thing altogether). I actually LIKE how this post was written, and I think Xiaxue really comes through in this post, kudos to XX!

Too much work, too little time

2005-07-15T11:23:00.000+08:00

I received a call this morning from SMU, the woman who is in charge of the Local Exchange Programme over there.

Apparently she DID receive my email (I had sent an email askign for status of my application because I didn't receive any and my friends from SMU said they already finished their bidding for modules), but because they were too busy moving to the city campus that she really didn't have time to reply me. So she called me instead and explained everything to me, which I thought was really nice of her because there are people over here at NUS who don't really bother and things therefore get very complicated because they chose to explain complicated matters over email.

So anyway, my application and everything has been approved over there, but they have to wait for all the modules to be taken up by their own students, before they can offer modules out to us, from the exchange programme. They can only do so at the end of the month.

Only problem is, (our own NUS) CORS bidding starts on the 25th - not so end of the month if you ask me.

Which means, I can only rely on good luck, intuition, and faith that the modules I want to take at SMU are still available, thus the timetable I planned for myself would not go to waste.

Otherwise, it's just planning ALL over again for me. Checking which classes I want to take, check if they clash with other classes at NUS, check if exam dates clash, etc, and then repeat the entire process three or four more times. Very tedious if you ask me.

To counter SOME of the tedious-ness caused by this process caused by the loopholes in administration, I shall hence just add all the modules I want to take in NUS first, and if the modules they offer me doesn't fit into timetable, then screw it.

'Atta girl.

M&M's M-Azing!

2005-07-15T00:06:00.000+08:00

Those who are fans of the cut-throat The Apprentice 2 would remember one episode where the two groups are asked to make M&M's chocolate bars and sell them, you know, the one where Ivana drops her skirt to sell chocolate bars?. In this episode, the two groups are asked to sell a new M&M's bar called M-Azing, and guess what I saw when I was at NUS Co-Op shopping for food this evening? M&M's M-azing Crunchy bar!!

I was quite shocked and surprised to see a box of it lying in some obscure corner of the Co-Op, with every bar waiting to be bought. To be honest, the packaging looks abit different from your average M&M's candies, a little too "cheap", in fact. You know those cheap chocolate bars which don't exactly taste like chocolate? Yep, it looks like those kind. I was abit tempted to buy one and try though, but the packaging really didn't attract me much (I am a HUGE chocolate and M&M's fan!).

Reading the product description from the above website though, I am quite curious to find out exactly how it tastes, and why anyone would spend USD$2, or USD$5 even, for a bar like that! (At Co-op its going for about $1.50 a piece).

Will post a taste test when I lay my hands on a bar!!!

Damn it, lib closing!

2005-07-14T18:31:00.000+08:00

*ding ding ding ding* "Dear members, the library will be closing in half an hour. Those who need to borrow books, please do so at the sel-borrowing machine, which will be switched off in 15 minutes."

I was at the library, armed with 5 books I wanted to settle down in the snack corner to read, the moment I sat down however, I heard the above announcement. In my heart I went "WHAT THE HELL!", then I grabbed my books and my matric card, and rushed to the bloody machine to check out my books.

I was in the library for BARELY half an hour!!!

Speaking of NUS Library, its only today which I realised that there is an infinite amount of interesting books which I want to read, apart from those which I have to read (need to pull up grades you see). Philosophy, art, law, religion, literature, politics, war, history. I have only TWO SEMs left in NUS and there's TOO MANY to cover in my two remaining sems. *sigh*

Speaking of which, Central Library just renovated their toilets, I think the plan now is to have all the ladies toilets on one side of the Library and all the male toilets on the other side. Originally, the male and ladies toilets are alternated on every floor of the library, but today when I emerged out of the toilet on the 3rd level and went up to the 4th level, the toilet on the 4th level was also a ladies toilet! How quaint.

By the way, the renovated toilets look very posh! There aere even automated taps!! *wow* (no more gold-plated tap jokes please)!! The ONLY problem is, the doors on the toilet itself (not the cubicles), have no handles on the outside, so you push to get in. Doesn't seem like a problem right? But there are no handles on the inside too, and you can't push to get out!! I hope its because the contractor forgot to put in the handle and will do so later, and not because its the design of the door. I do like the new look of the toilets though, posh and really comfy. Though it's strange I'm talking about how nice NUS toilets are.

That said, school reopens on the 8th of August, and I'm most probably moving into school either in the last week of July or the 1st week of August. I'm also moving into my final year at NUS, last two sems! *sobz* Time to start thinking about what I want to do when I grow up. =S

Before that however, I have alot of work and alot of planning to do left for the holidays, and suddenly I can't wait for school to start (but I don't want it to end, so if I don't want it to end, I naturally wouldn't want it to start too right? See the dilemma I'm in?).

What If..

2005-07-10T01:49:00.000+08:00

What if, you turned around and I was no longer walking behind you?
What if, you reached out to hold my hand and I was no longer walking beside you?
What if, you opened your eyes and I'm no longer there?
What if, you woke up one day and I'm no longer in your life?
What would you do?

-Anonymous

There was this campaign awhile back, where a series of advertisements was launched, and the chinese version goes something along the lines of, "everyday you must tell your loved ones "I love you" and put a smile on their face blahblahblah..."

If you look at the advertisement itself, it seems pretty silly, for an agency to go around telling people that they have to tell their loved ones how much they love them. But then again, when you think about it, it's so true (yet cliche), that all of us are so caught up in our daily lives that we often forget about our loved ones.

Yet, the advertisement, in its zeal to promote love among family members, forgot one important thing. The whole point is not about saying "I love you" to your loved ones all the time. The whole point is about saying it and meaning it from the bottom of your heart.

An ode

2005-07-10T01:24:00.000+08:00

I was talking to my parents just now, and I heard the sweetest conversation ever in my entire life..

Basically my dad confessed that throughout their 23 years of marriage, he has never really given my mom a good life. Yet my mom, upon hearing this, just said that she doesn't mind, and that she has been there with him through the good and bad times, and that whatever they have, be it good or bad, its always shared between the two of them, and that she never regret her decision to marry him.

Personally, I was just so touched and awed by their conversation, I had to excuse myself. Imagine your parents saying such things in front of you, it's just so, sweet and endearing. I don't know if I could've achieved the same things my parents have had, my mom has stood by my dad through good times and bad, and all these years she's just done it without any complain.

Maybe I can never be like my mom, who just gives 100% to the family, and gives her everything to my dad. But I know that whatever that I've done for you, I've did my best. At the point in time when no one else wanted to do anymore work for you, I felt like giving in too, but I hung on despite the low morale because I don't want to see you unhappy. I did every other job that I wasn't even supposed to do, all because I wanted to help YOU. Whatever I did, it wasn't for myself, I did it to help YOU.

During that period of time, I wanted so much for myself to just give up and run away from everything, including you. I was just so angry at everyone for the situation you got into, because I was so helpless and hopeless, I really didn't know what to do. But I hung on because of you.

I may not make the best person to get along with in the entire world, but I can assure that you that for as long as we're together, no matter how much it takes I'm going to be by your side.

I don't need the stars and the moon, but I just want to know if everything I'm doing is being appreciated by you, that's all.

IOC meeting Singapore

2005-07-06T00:21:00.000+08:00

edit: I had ONE picture of the police road block for IOC, but can't upload it yet because i CAN"T FIND my USB bluetooth dongle. Argh.

I don't think anyone in Singapore is affected much by the IOC meeting which is being held here this week, not that anyone gives a damn, except maybe for the one or two famous faces appearing here - until you hit town on the side of the City Hall area.

I was there at the Marina Square area for dinner, and boy was the area teeming with policemen in all shapes and sizes. Apparently there was some private function over at the rooftop of the Esplanade, so there were legions of policemen forming a line to barricade a small lane separating the normal visitors to Esplanade and the IOC people. The same goes for the roads, small lanes were cut out for the mini-buses/vans that ferried the IOC people to and fro wherever they are staying to wherever they are going. All these from the Esplandade/Marina area all the way to Raffles City area.

You don't really think much about the entire occasion until you see everything in operation before your very eyes, from the mini buses moving along, complete with IOC Singapore stickers and the IOC license plate, to the policemen along the roads and streets marshalling everybody and everything else.

And then you start to think about how it would be if IOC wasn't held here in Singapore, but somewhere else. Would it be as efficient?

And then the cynic in you starts to wonder, is this really the only time where policemen come in handy?

On the other hand, perhaps it is only when we are cynic about the police force in Singapore then we realise just how safe the place is, that we can afford to be sarcastic about the police force.

Of course, another thing about having the IOC in Singapore, is that girls can satisfy their uniform fetish, especially so if they are Gurkhas (Nepalese policemen hired by the SPF) in uniform.

*drool*

Sportgasmised

2005-07-04T19:56:00.000+08:00

Sports Camp is finally over!! Wheee..been damn shagged to post anything new, let me recover and I'll be up and running before the end of the week.

I'm free til the end of the month! WHEeeee

100 months and counting..

2005-06-24T23:46:00.000+08:00

A friend of mine has been with his girlfriend for 8 years already, (they're both 23 yrs old and therefore have been together since Secondary School, an amazing feat, really). They both have a cute practice between the two of them, that is, they make it a point to celebrate, or at least commemorate the 24th of every single month, because they got together on the 24th. Today, however, they celebrate their 100th month together, and it's just soooo sweet.

We're going into our 9th month together, in just about a little over two weeks. Every now and then I still remember how we got together, that day we took a train back to my place for dinner, you pulled Brownie out of your bag, me reading the ribbon and wondering what to make out of it. Honestly my mind was in a flurry 'cause I really didn't know what to do, how to react. I found it so cute though, that the moment you held my hand on the train you never let go until we got on the bus and it became a little too difficult for us to walk along the bus aisle hand in hand.

I remember that morning when I came to wake you up, and you had that silly smile on your face. I was clueless then as to what and why you were smiling the way you did, but now I know why.

The past 8 months plus has been tumultous, we've been through our own ups and downs. Arguments, quarrels, disagreements. We both hate going through the entire process but I guess in a strange way it helps us know each other better, to learn to live with each other, to learn to change ourselves for the better.

I originally planned to write like an entire paragraph about how I feel, but I think it just sums up to this;

I always look forward to the next time I see you, and I love every single minute we spend together, right now, all I want to do is to lie in bed with you allll day and not do anything else.

*muack*

Shagged

2005-06-16T19:00:00.000+08:00

The next two weeks will be crazy for me, so will not be blogging so often.

Apologies to all, will still be reading your blogs as often as I can though.

Sidetrack:
Signed up for Local Exchange to SMU a couple of weeks back, and I've been selected to go for it! Will be spending half my time in SMU and then doing my cross-fac modules back in NUS, I'm really excited though because the p. theory modules that are being offered seem much more interesting. Wheee!!

Now I just have to hope that the modules I want to take would be approved.

Damn Freaking Angry

2005-06-11T11:51:00.000+08:00

I was on the bus yesterday, already super duper shagged out from three days of little sleep and alot of canoeing, so all I really wanted to do was to find a seat on the bus and then snooze away.

So the bus came, and I got on the upper deck because there wasn't really much conducive space for snoozing on the lower deck anyway, I saw the thingy that tells you how many seats there are left, and there was 22. "Not bad", I thought to myself, still got hope.

I went up and NABEI!!! You know how the buses all can seat two person per seat, but nooo, all these bloody people, pay the fare of ONE person, and enjoy the seat of TWO ok, all the seats which were empty were closer to the window, while the passengers were sitting on the outside of the seat. So I thought to myself, ok maybe if I stopped beside them and stared at the seat next to them they would at least offer the inner seat, so I walked down the aisle hoping that some kind soul would want to move so I can move in, but NO ONE did, and to make things worse, these people actually put their bags on the INSIDE.

I mean, if you have super large bags from Great Singapore Sale and can't put them on your lap I can understand, but come on man, your miniscule handbag needs a seat of its own? I hope it has a EZ-Link card to pay for its fare. There was this girl, whose handbag is prolly the size of my palm, and she has a small shopping bag containing a bottle of Escada perfume on the seat next to her, how I wish the bus would just "jam brake" and her bottle would fall off the seat and break into MANY MANY TINY PIECES!!!

I just hate such people on the buses man, I mean, come on, if the weather is hot and you don't want to sit next to the window I can understand, if you have big bags you cannot balance on your lap alone I can understand, but it's just fucked up that you refuse to move so that someone else can sit inside, or you let some mini belonging of yours have the seat instead of someone else.

SBS should just introduce fare hikes for people like that, make them pay for the seat that their bags occupy, or for the seat they don't want others to have.

Argh!!! SELFISH SINGAPOREANS!!! DIEEEeeee..

and so July begins..

2005-06-07T22:48:00.000+08:00

Ah, beginning of a busy busy month, here's what's up..

Tomorrow (Wednesday 8th June) til Friday (10th June) - Sea Sports Camp
Tomorrow & Friday - Training resumes!
Saturday (11th June) - Boon Hwee's Chalet
Sunday (12th June) - O Comm Camp Prep
Monday (13th June) to Tuesday (14 June) - Sports Camp O Comm Camp
19th June to 21st June - Sports Camp Pre Camp
27th June to 2nd July - Sports Camp!!

After which I'll be away for a few days for a short getaway with Andrew.

After that, it's madness again:

Matric Fair
Canoe Camp
Canoe Recruitment
Sports Bash!!!

Expectations

2005-06-05T19:02:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I wish expectations didn't exist. If they didn't, then couples won't quarrel, and students won't get stressed.

When you have set a certain standard, people will always expect the same of you, even though conditions and situations have change. When you establish yourself to be of a relatively superior character/personality than others, people naturally expect you to follow up to it.

But the truth it, people change, just as environments and situations do, and sometimes, it's not so much of whether or not they want to change, but whether or not they can. It's like the old chinese saying, 一山还有一山高. If you were the best in situation A, it doesn't mean that by going to situation B, you would still be the best because no matter what, there will always be someone better than you.

In this world where everything is relative and little is absolute, expectations will only cause more sadness than there already is.

Cheebye.

2005-06-02T00:16:00.000+08:00

Yes that's how I'm feeling right now. Not that I'm feeling very "Cheebye", as in when you are pissed with someone and you go, "Nabei, XXX damn cheebye man!!" but I'm just so fucking pissed with some chee bye fucker.

Was on the way home and at the traffic light junction just outside my home. The GREEN MAN already came on for a few seconds, but being the careful person I was, I was waiting for this RED TOYOTA COROLLA to completely stop before I crossed the road (cars on the other side stopped already.)

Then as the RED TOYOTA COROLLA approached the traffic light, I thought it was safe to cross. I mean, nabei, the place so fucking bright, all the cars already fucking stop, but NOT the RED TOYOTA COROLLA, it just FUCKING BREEZE PAST OK! It wasn't even driving at full stop, but the FUCKER INSIDE THE FUCKING CAR DIN EVEN FUCKING BOTHER TO FUCKING STOP AT THE FUCKING TRAFFIC LIGHT JUNCTION WHERE THE GREEN MAN IS FUCKING ON!

Nabei!! You think you fucking own the fucking piece of land where you drive on isit? Can happy happy don't stop at green man? FUCK! Where the fuck you get your fucking driving license from? Mars ah? Where Green man means for the car to fucking go?

CHEEBYE!!! I almost got turned into a piece of ROADKILL. The fucking problem is that the RED TOYOTA COROLLA is not the only car which does that, my dad has written to Traffic Police Dept so many fucking million times but they do NOTHING. CHEEBYE!! Taxpayers pay you to do what? Cruise around on your bike and lepak one corner isit?

Fuck lor!! Cheebye!!! SO IF ANYONE KNOWS THE DRIVER OF THE RED TOYOTA COROLLA WHO DROVE PAST THE TRAFFIC JUNCTION OPP BLOCK 88 AT BEDOK NORTH AVENUE 4 at around 12mn on 2nd June 2005, PLEASE FUCKING BASH HIM UP OK? Or else, just fucking throw away his license and the keys to his car. AND LOCK HIM UP SOMEWHERE FOR GOOD!!!

Chee bye.

Auntie auntie!!

2005-05-29T23:15:00.000+08:00

I was going out to watch the WFC game between Singapore and Hungary, and as I was coming out of my house and locking the door, my three year old neighbour happened to be prancing outside of his house in his t-shirt and diapers.

When he saw me, he was sooo excited!!!

Boy: Auntie auntie!! Where you going?
Me: *stunned* going out lor...
Boy: Auntie!!!! Auntiee!!!
Me: ok boy, time to go back to your house wait mommy scold you ah..
Boy: auntie!!!!
Me: BYEBYE!!!! *rush into the lift*

I'm only 22!!! WHY PEOPLE CALL ME AUNTIE!!!!!! *cries*

Women's WFC is in town!!

2005-05-29T13:26:00.000+08:00

If you go HAR?, Women's WFC is the Women's World Floorball Championships 2005. It's held once every two years and this year, it's held in SINGAPORE!!!

For those who don't know what Floorball is, it's a game something like Ice Hockey, but played on normal ground and sticks made of plastic and fibreglass. There are 5 outfield players on the court, plus one goalkeeper. The Goalkeeper is on his knees to defend the goalpost, and can use any part of his body. For outfield players, they are only allowed to use their sticks to hit the ball, as well as their body to block the ball.

Cool eh?

I've been playing Floorball since 2000, and like many other players out there, we're all VERY EXCITED that WFC has come to Singapore because it means that you get to see ALL the Women Floorball Greats all in the span of ONE WEEK! How cool is that!

Plus the venues are all very neighbourhood friendly, ITE East College as well as Woodlands Sports hall.

Tickets come pretty affordable too! Season tickets going at $60 for division games and $30 for semi finals and finals, although there is a one-for-one offer, but I'm not too sure if it's still going on. Otherwise, individual game tickets are $12 for the division games, and $20 for the semi finals and finals.

Need more information on WFC? Check out the Website today!

And if anyone needs me this entire week, I'll be at ITE East College!

What, no breakfast?!?

2005-05-27T09:53:00.000+08:00

I was in school up and early in the morning for a meeting at McDonald's, we were supposed to meet up for breakfast followed by the meeting at 9am, but, horror of horrors, when I reached at 945, there was NOBODY there except for me. So I thought, since there was no one around, I might as well have breakkie first while waiting for the rest, since they will all be late anyway.

So, I turned around, wanting to order my favourite Mac breakfast meal, and guess what? NUS MACDONALD's DON"T SERVE BREAKFAST!!

Yes!! WTF!! At 9am in the morning, if you want to have MacD's, you'd be forced to order from the normal menu, wtf again!!

Which is the reason why I'm sitting here now with a half-drunk cup of tea and a fully finished packet of fries.

How's that for breakfast.

So what do I do? Send an SMS to all my mates; "Nabei, you all late. *angry roar*"

My Occupation is "Practical Mom"

2005-05-26T22:28:00.000+08:00

I don't know if anyone has already noticed, unless of course you're like me, eyes glued to TV 24/7, but anyway, there was this TV commercial about diapers, and then guess who was the TV actor endorsing it? No other than the 'Queen' of Caldecott Hill, Zoe Tay!

You know when you watch the news, or when they give interviews, or they want to introduce this particular person? They will have the name on the screen, then below the name in smaller size font is the occupation of the person, or at least telling you who the person is.

So in this particular advertisement, they have Zoe Tay saying that as a mother, she is very practical. At this point, the words ZOE TAY flash big big beside her face, and below her name, in smaller font: Practical Mother.

Erm, excuse me? So now she is no longer TV Actress, or Queen, she is now PRACTICAL MOTHER. Not just any other kind of mother leh, but PRACTICAL. Means she wants cheap and good for herself and the baby.

Excuse me, but I thought all mothers want cheap and good? At least those mothers with some auntie instinct in them.

So at least now I know, normal mothers are just mothers, but TV stars, or at least if you are of acting calibre like Zoe Tay, you are labelled PRACTICAL Mother.

Doesn't really make sense to me, but I think Singaporeans just like to anyhow call themselves one.

In Miyagi's words, What da heow.

Shit

2005-05-26T13:15:00.000+08:00

I was talking to Siming on MSN, and two lines he said actually led to me think of something:

SM: try being thrown shit in the morning..
SM: u think u will have a good day ahead?

Which reminds me of my earlier posts, about obligation, how we are obligated to do things even though we don't really want to do it. We do it still, for various reasons, to help a friend, doing someone a favour, something you really have no choice but to do because it's a task given by someone in the higher authority.

Which then reminds me of my post about how I wanted to give up (which ended up with Cowboy Caleb asking to me to "just do it lah!").

Which then brings me back to my post about obligation, and made me realise that, in life, no matter what, how, why or when, we are always faced with obligations as well as things that we really don't want to do but we do it anyway. Of course, there are also reasons why we don't want to do it, maybe it's because it's too difficult and we're too lazy, or we just don't want to do it.

Then I realise that, in life, there will always be such things that lie in our way, and we have no other way around it except to take it up and finish up the work. Since this is the case, might as well just do it and get it over and done with it right? You happy also must do, sad also must do, might as well do it a happy person rather than a sad person because being sad really doesn't make the job much easier.

To Siming, no matter how much shit gets thrown at us early in the morning, we sometimes just have no choice but to stand there and get the shit thrown at us, whether we like it or not. Don't let morning shit ruin your day!! Cheer up!!! =)

The difference between Reality and Imagination

2005-05-24T14:53:00.000+08:00

They were showing A Beautiful Mind on Sunday night, and in case you still don't know what the movie is about, its basically about the life of this wonderful mathematician, who is later diagnosed with schizoprenia. He learns the horrifying truth in the movie, that most of the people he has known are fake, they have been just nothing more than figments of his imagination.

The scary thing is, how do we really know what is real and what is imagined? Is it real because we can see, we can touch them? But if we follow this line of explanation, then what you can see and touch is actually governed by your brain. So therefore, if your brain sends signals that even what you imagine is meant to be real, then reality cannot be defined by things we can actually see and touch.

So how then can be differentiate between what is real and what is not? Descartes goes along the lines of "I think, therefore I am". However, this goes back to the problem outlined in the previous paragraph. You exist, simply because of cognitive process. At the same time, cognitive process can also cause you to THINK you exist, when you simply don't.

Is something then real because the majority says it is real? It is tangible, and existing because everyone else says it is? It seems that this may be most applicable in real life. I am sitting here in front of my laptop typing this entry because my sister in the other room says I am, and my father in the living room says I am. I am walking along orchard road because everyone else who walks past me casts a glance at me. The thing is, even if everyone reaches a consensus of what is real and what is not, is the majority right? What if one day the entire community is striken by a common ailment and they imagine the same things to be real, has that thing suddenly become real simply because we all think that it is?

Argh

2005-05-23T20:48:00.000+08:00

My entire holidays have been spent planning for the camp, and hanging out with my friends and dearie. In fact, I think I spend more time on the camp than anything else.

I just feel like giving up.

This is not usually my kind of style. Usually when I do something, I make sure that I finish it, because I have to, because I want to.

Now, I have to finish it, but I don't know if I want to finish it.

I mean, what point is there in doing this? How can I do something for myself when myself doesn't even feel very into this?

For my friends? The people I know aren't very close to me, so I don't exactly feel the need to want to put in effort.

I recognise the fact that it's so close to the camp, and it's unfair for me to just quit and leave everyone like that, I don't know.

Part of me feels the obligation, the other part, I just feel so stressed, I feel like there is this huge burden upon me to just do it.

It's no longer something I want to do, it's a burden, something I feel that I have to do.

I really feel like quitting.

AIDS Prevention message..

2005-05-23T12:30:00.000+08:00

from your friendly neighbourhood, self-professed hunk, Steven Lim. Ew!!!

This guy CANNOT act AT ALL!!!!

From Cowboy Caleb

Asian Drinks?!?

2005-05-23T03:01:00.000+08:00

Asian Drinks?!?
Originally uploaded by hecate.

I was at a petrol station in Tampines earlier, and the drinks section was divided thus;

soft drinks, energy drinks, asian drinks (?!?)

so what the fuck are asian drinks? Ok green tea is asian, Qoo is definitely asian, so are all the Aloe Vera/Ice Lemon Tea/Lychee tea type drinks. But Snapple?!? I didn't know Snapple was Asian.

Why aren't these drinks called soft drinks?

Wierd these petrol station people..

Jigsaw Pieces

2005-05-23T02:56:00.000+08:00

I was at Esplanade with a couple of friends on Friday, I haven't been there for awhile, and was pleasantly surprised to see a sight of all this hanging from the ceiling;

Jigsaw Pieces
Originally uploaded by hecate.

Many many jigsaw on the ceiling..

Jigsaw
Originally uploaded by hecate.

Imitate Count from Sesame Street: "Vaarrn! Varrrn jeeeegsaw parrrzeeeellll!! Ha, Ha, Ha!!"

It doesn't look as good on pictures, you all should see the real thing, especially at night when the green jigsaw pieces catch the spotlights, sooo nice!!!

Star Wars - The Female Version

2005-05-22T22:39:00.000+08:00

After watching the "final" instalment of Star Wars, and the rest of the 5 episodes scattered through the years, I often wondered why Darth Vader cannot be female, and why Luke Skywalker and Leia cannot switch places. Then all the males on the Jedi Council will be female. We will have a female Yoda - Yodess?, female Hans Solo Hana Solo, female Obi-Wan, who is sooo hot hot hot hot hot that she is called erm, Obaby iWantyou.

Then Darth Vader will be Darth Vadra, and Luke Skywalker will be Prince Luke, and Leia Skywalker. Maybe then she can ditch the donuts for hair.

Then Palpatine will be renamed Palpatina, AKA Darth Sidress. Episode Three will then be Revenge of the Bit(c)h - Revenge of the Sith, geddit?

So instead of Anakin being the Chosen One, he will be the helpless one forever in his little suite overlooking the city. Padme will go around fighting evil, and eventually being seduced by Palpatina to the Dark Side. Hey! You can even include some hot Lesbian action between Padme and Palaptina, Padme and Obaby, just so the hot-blooded males won't feel so bored watching the movie.

So the infamous line of: "Looooke, I am your faaarr-darrr, (insert heavy breathing here"), then we can have "Leiii-yaaa, I am your marrrr-darrrr".

Oh yes, Darth Vadra won't have heavy breathing, she can wheeze instead.

One weekend..

2005-05-22T14:53:00.000+08:00

One weekend..
Originally uploaded by hecate.

Screen shot from my boyfriend's comp of the website.

I was pretty "eng" yesterday, plus I wasn't feeling well so I stayed at home the WHOLE day, and I came up with the very new NUS Canoeing Sub Club website!!

You can visit it here!

The Dreaded Email

2005-05-21T03:12:00.000+08:00

Dear Students,

Congratulations on the end of your examinations! Please take note of the following important notices:

1. Release of Examination Results
The release of the results for the Semester 2, AY2004/2005 Faculty of Arts & Social Sciences examinations held in April/May 2005 will start from Tuesday, 31 May 2005. The schedule of the release can be found online at the Faculty's website at http://www.fas.nus.edu.sg/docs/undergrad/release_results%20_sem2_0405.pdf

2. Review of Examination Results
Students may request for a review of the examination results. Please read carefully the notice for instruction & details. The notice is available online at the Faculty's website at http://www.fas.nus.edu.sg/docs/undergrad/review_exam_results%20_sem2_04-05_.pdf. The deadline to submit review application is 12 noon Monday 6 June 2005.

Faculty of Arts & Social Sciences
Dean's Office

Mac Mice II

2005-05-18T16:37:00.002+08:00

Mac Mice II
Originally uploaded by hecate.

the new mouse!!

Mac Mice!!
Originally uploaded by hecate.

new mouse!!

dE iBook and dE Mouse
Originally uploaded by hecate.

My iBaby and my new Mouse, on a very messy table..=S

Empty

2005-05-15T15:58:00.000+08:00

I haven't had much to write about these days. I think i'm just too lazy to actually think, afterall, hey, the holidays are here, I think I deserve some time out for my brains.

On a separate note, I've been feeding myself with the all new (ok not really new, since it's already in its second season), but very sensational tv show, The L Word. It's basically about this entire group of lesbians and their lives, think a lesbian Sex in the City.

It's just great!!! Especially yummy is Shane, who is a dyke, or a butch in our lingo, and she/he is just deeeeliiiciiiousss...*drool*

The cast of The L Word

That's Shane, in the middle

Singapore Laws are Unjust?

2005-05-12T00:37:00.000+08:00

Thanks to a link from Singabloodypore, I stumbled upon this article from The Epoch Times, about how laws in Singapore are unjust. In the article, the author (whom I suspect is a Chinese national-cum-Falungong sympathiser and hence biased in his/her account), describes the laws of Singapore as being "unjust" and that the government manipulates them to their own interests.

An except:

Singapore's law is apparently not intended for the safety and well-being of its people. Unlike in democratic countries, where laws serve the people, the laws issued by a dictatorial government intend to maintain its dictatorship. Over time, such irresponsible treatment can ruin a country and its people.

For one, the entire crux of the article, was basically how because the People's Republic of China has decided to clamp down on Falungong practitioners, the Singapore government has decided to do the same over here in Singapore, in the interests of the own government. The article claims that "sucking up" to China is in the best interests of the government and not the people.

Firstly, I have one thing to say, either the writer is living in some pre-modern society that hasn't yet experienced globalisation or she is living on some ulu island.

In the increasing age of globalisation, countries have become more independant, economies especially. Economy is usually what drives a nation, especially Singapore. If we look at the foreign policy goals of Singapore, or any country for that matter, it would be to preserve the soverignty and the security of the country and its people. That being said, if it is in the motive of the government to preserve its own interest by "sucking up" to China, then I ask, what interest does the government have, except to ensure the security of Singapore?

Let's put it more bluntly, globalisation has increased the dependancy of countries. If we look at it from the point of view of building bilateral ties and interests with other countries in the world, then what wrong is there to ensure our continued friendship with China? Seriously, you want China to come and drop bombs on Singapore is it? While we boost of a pretty good defense system, let's all wake up and smell the bloody gunfire. One wrong move with any great power, you're sooo fucking dead man. We all know the potential of China as a rising power, even the US is scared of them la please!

Yes, I do agree that laws are made and put in place to protect the interests of the people, to give people the freedom to do anything they want outside of these laws. But what good would ethical and morally right laws be if the entire nation is not safe from external pressures and threats? If we take it from the perspectives of respecting the human rights of the Falungong practitioners being sued, yes, their human rights have been violated to some extent. But let's all be realistic, in the world of politics, who would want to sacrifice the human rights of two people for the greater security of the country?

Call it being utilitarian if you will, but if you were being put in this sort of position, which would you compromise, the human rights of two individuals, or the greater security of your country?

I call it pragmatism.

Pee-Am-Ass

2005-05-12T00:05:00.000+08:00

I was reading Kenny Sia's blog, he was going on about how men are made to suffer because the bulk of women who aren't single who have PMS, vent all their frustration and anger on their boyfriends. I see the need to stand up and say something for all the poor women out there who suffer from PMS which involves them screaming and crying for no reason.

I for one, have been quite lucky, for all these years of my life, PMS only confined itself to bloatedness, cramps, headaches, the occasional grumpiness, and the loss of appetite (yippee!). I even have friends who have NO PMS at all! (WTF! you say). But not every woman is that lucky, heck, there even is a syndrome where PMS can be chronic, wth.

To all the men who think they have it bad when their girlfriends have PMS, eh hello friends, YOU THINK WE LIKE TO SUFFER FROM PMS ISIT!!! knn!! *mumbles more expletives under my breath* For one thing, you're not the one living with this your whole life, so maybe you DON"T understand how it feels, of course you don't! You think we like to be emotional when we get PMS, you think we like to cry over nothing? Wah lao! You think having NO CONTROL at all over your emotions very shiok har?

Think about it, when we get PMS, or even during our menstruation, we walk around with an immense ache in our tummy, for some in the head, we feel like some mother pig with 10 piglets in our tummy, PLUS, on heavy days, we are forced to walk around with a wad of cotton between our legs, its constantly WET and STICKY, and it WON"T FUCKING STOP BLEEDING! Now YOU tell me if it's fun at all.

Of course we feel bad about throwing tantrums and losing our temper at you boys, you think we won't feel pain in the heart when we see you so sad, with the sad puppy dog look that we fell in love with? But for god's sake, we got NO CONTROL over our emotions at this point in time, so PLEASE bear with us. Afterall, for the rest of the month we've been such angels and darlings (that's why you all fall in love with us too right?), so what's a few days of agony in exchange for an entire month of lovey dovey sweetness from us?

So the NEXT TIME you want to complain about us girls having PMS and you being at the receiving end of it, please spare a thought for us girls who have to put up with that thing that doesn't stop bleeding for 5 days!

Note: NO I am NOT suffering from PMS at the point where this was written.

Why should Religion be Political?

2005-05-11T01:47:00.000+08:00

I went to watch the movie the Kingdom of Heaven earlier, and apart from the plot, which somehow reminded me of LOTR 3, I must say the movie did make me think quite abit.

For the uninitiated, the movie is based upon The Crusades, the ancient war waged between the Christians and the Muslims. In the movie, both sides are struggling for a control over Jerusalem, what each side deem to be the Holy Land of their religion. What is important in my discussion here, is that both sides make use of religion, and that "God Will It", to be a justification of their cause and purpose.

The question here is, does God really will it? That men should die for the purpose of re-claiming their Holy Land? In most cases, men fight because they are commanded to, they are led into thinking that they are fighting for a holy purpose, when all that they are fighting for, could be for the glory and honour, and perhaps the economic gains of those who command them to fight, the men who misinterpret religion, who will for the battle to begin.

My point here is that, alot of times, in alot of battles throughout history, religion has played a central role. There should be no wrong in men fighting for what they feel is right. However, the question is, who decides? Ultimately, it is men who decide. God does not send a message directly to any man that XXX must be destroyed, why should we kill someone who does not believe in the same faith we do? I may not be a person who reads the Bible religiously, but I don't believe that the God I was taught to believe in, is someone who believes in war against those we don't believe, I believe that if we believe that our religion is the rightful one, then we ought to spread the word to others, and to show them the way, instead of killing them all.

Should religion be political? Perhaps not, religion is a faith, and it should always be a faith, that guides Men into achieving inner peace, to show them the path to goodness. Politics sometimes override virtue, the exigencies of politics allow us to make excuses for plundering and murder, often to the innocent. Does virtue allow this, that we should make the innocent pay for what their comrades have done? If so, then we don't need the existence of religion, nor universal laws, maxims and morality that warn each and every human being against killing an innocent person. Politics on the other hand, sometimes guide us into believing that killing innocents are fine, so long as our existence is guaranteed, and that our prosperity and security will never be compromised.

Blogging for ourselves, or someone else?

2005-05-10T12:22:00.000+08:00

The Straits Times covered Tomorrow.sg in yesterday's issue. This ought to bring up visitor-ship to the website by the millions, or perhaps billions. Also, anyone with cow sense would also realise that, if you are featured on Tomorrow, your readership would double, triple, quadruple, as Fiona would know.

The thing is, what good has the launch of Tomorrow.sg done for the local blogging community? For the lazy blog-surfer like me, Tomorrow offers a one stop access to all the interesting things posted on local blogs, subject of course, to the contributions of other bloggers. It also lets you explore more interesting blogs, the ones you never really have the energy to search for, so you hope someone who has links to someone interesting would contribute something interesting to Tomorow which would hence make your day more interesting if you stumble upon it.

But with the increase in readership/visitor-ship for Tomorrow, what does this mean for bloggers out there? Would there be an increasing subconsciousness to want to blog just to get featured on Tomorrow? Afterall, the 5 minutes of fame can be tantalizing. Does this mean that we will stop blogging whatever we want, and start blogging what others want to see, just so we can get featured? Or would be senselessly and shameless whore ourselves to bring some attention to our blogs, and hence hope that one, at least ONE of our posts would get featured?

Conversely, would we stop blogging what we would love to blog about because the increase in viewership would mean that more people know who you are, you cannot blog about how horrible your day was made by some one who snatch your taxi, or bitch about your lecturer, tutor, classmate, schoolmate, colleague, boss, because as we all know, humankind is separated by 5 degrees, either they are among the readers of your blog, or someone they know would be reading it. Can you really risk your social life like that, by blogging mindlessly about everything and anything, and because of your high readership and the fact that you post pictures of yourself on your blog, people KNOW who you are?

And we all know how the local blogosphere is like, say something that pisses someone off, and you get flamed so badly you need to shut it down, like dear and poor old Brose. Is it worth it? I won't say he is a talented writer, but he sure is entertaining, and a good contribution to the local blogosphere at least. Must we watch each and every single thing we say so we can sidestep all the flaming?

Of course, there are boundaries one shouldn't cross, and perhaps to these issues one ought to watch what he says, but apart from that, I think we all ought to be allowed to say what we want without getting into trouble for it, afterall, isn't this what free speech on the world wide web is about?

My Birthday

2005-05-09T23:41:00.000+08:00

From Cruz Teng's blog:

Your Birthdate: September 17

Your birth on the 17th day of the month suggests that you are very lucky financially, because this date indicates a solid business sense.

Although you are probably very honest and ethical, this birthday enables you to be shrewd and successful in the world of business and commercial enterprise.

You have excellent organizational, managerial, and administrative capabilities enabling you to handle large projects and significant amounts of money with relative ease.

You are ambitious and highly goal-oriented, although you may be better at starting projects than you are at finishing them.

A sensitivity in your nature, often repressed below the surface of awareness, makes it hard to give or receive affection.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Main course?

2005-05-09T22:27:00.000+08:00

I was on the phone with my mom, wanted her to get me supper, here's how it went;

Mom: (talking to someone else) What main course you want?
Me: Mommy I want Char Kuay Teow!
Mom: Why you so troublesome one?!?
Me: You ask me what main course I want what!!!

Tee hee.

New Template!

2005-05-09T21:23:00.000+08:00

Picture(48)
Originally uploaded by hecate.

My new Blog template!! Like it? I tried to copy the design on my new pair of Havaianas.

Lame attempt I know, but anyways!! =)

Havaianas!!

2005-05-08T22:50:00.000+08:00

Picture(46)
Originally uploaded by hecate.

My new Havaianas slippers!!!

Random thoughts

2005-05-08T21:07:00.000+08:00

I was reading Steve Mc Dermott's post on The freedom of thought/speech in Singapore and how there was a call for a higher political participation by youths in Singapore.

Not that I don't agree that there should be a more liberal arts and entertainment scene in Singapore, but I guess in every state policies will somehow come into conflict in one way or another and this is one instance in which there is a conflict of policies of the government. On one hand, PM Lee has been encouraging a more liberal, "open" Singapore, but on the other, the government also sees a need to retain the status quo in terms of the existence of opposition in Singapore.

Whether or not the decision to want to continue to clam down hard on opposition, and whether or not the decision to want to moniter strictly activities pertaining to those of politics in Singapore may be good, I think one thing that observers have to come to terms with is that Singapore is not the US. The US is built entirely on the liberal idea, whereas Singapore is not.

Whether we like it or not, we cannot forget our past, how we came to be. Singapore had been under British colonial rule for many years, and we fought hard for independance. Some government policies were put into place either as a reaction to the some of the effects left behind by British rule, others were put into place to ensure the safety and security of Singapore. Afterall, we are a very small nation, the kind of small disruptions to societies in other states, we may see a larger, more resounding effect in Singapore.

Conspiracy theory buffs would always want to argue that strict laws with regards to opposition or deviant poliical activity are a result of the government wanting to maintain hegemony over the state, others would always want to point out that perhaps Singapore is not as liberal as we all think it is, or as we want it to be. But the thing is, if we take into account our history, then perhaps there is a justification for the kind of laws that we have today.

I think in the increasingly global, capitalist and liberal world we have today, Singapore in the future may have no choice but to change in order to remain competitive, especially in terms of economic competence. As such, certain regulations which may have been put in place would have to be altered in order to suit the changing world as we know it.

To those who may want to see a more liberal Singapore, especially with regards to the arts scene, I think it would definitely come, but it would have to be gradual, because there will always be a part of community which may not be so perceptive to change, and we would always have to remain sensitive to that.

(gets ready for the flak to come)

You know you have successfully converted to Mac from Windows when..

2005-05-06T23:10:00.000+08:00

...you find yourself subconsciously using keyboard shortcuts for Mac on a Windows system

...you find yourself pressing down the "ctrl" button and then the mouse button when you need a right click on the trackpad on a Windows system

...you find yourself pressing F9 for a glance of all the windows you've opened on a Windows system

...you try to press F11 to show the desktop, on a Windows system

Obligations

2005-05-06T16:54:00.000+08:00

In one episode of Desperate Housewives, Lynette Scavo, the career woman turned housewive with three kids from hell, visits her neighbour whom she hates, and ends up doing things for her, like sending her to the doctor to get her medication. The neighbour initally declined, because she didn't want to be Lynette's obligation, and Lynette responded with a classic line, "Life is about obligations."

I shall not go on any furthur about what the rest of the episode is about, lest I be labelled a spoiler, but the point of this is that Lynette made the word "obligation" seem so well, less taboo than we really make it out to be.

The thing is, part of what Lynette says is really true, life is all about obligations. We don't really want to go to your mom's cousin's wife's aunt's son's wedding, but you do anyway, because it's obligation. You don't want to go to your primary school class reunion but you do anyway because you feel obligated. You hate the way you look and you go on a diet/plastic surgery because your boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband doesn't like the way you look and you feel obligated.

Throughout our lives, we often do things because we feel obligated to do so, I know of a few people who are in University, doing a certain course, because its an obligation to their parents/family for being in University. They would rather be somewhere else, studying some other thing, but they can't because they feel obligation to do something else.

Some people take up a certain job, even though its something they hate, but they do it anyway because of their family, they feel obligated.

Do we want to live our lives like that? Feeling obligated all the time? While some of these things, we cannot run away from, it'll be nice once in a while for us to just throw all our obligations aside and do things we really want to do, for ourselves.

Tomorrow-ed!

2005-05-03T12:50:00.000+08:00

Yepo that's right, got Tomorrow-ed for my post on the late President Wee. Ah, the accomplishment of it all. =P Thanks Mr Miyagi for Tomorrow-ing me!

Blah.

2005-05-03T12:01:00.000+08:00

More than 24 hours to freedom! Which roughly translates into:

24 hours left to save my sorry ass from the deepest depths of horrible grade hell

.

Yep, I just realised that no matter what I do for the next 3 semesters (including what's left of this one), I'd have to score an A-/A average in order to keep myself in the running for a good honours degree.

Which is the pits really because there isn't a cat in hell's chance I"LL GET A's EVERY SINGLE SEM!!!

And so I begin to fret.

1 minute later, I decide to step fretting. Fuck, the holidays are here, I can fret when I get my results.

I'm sucha optimist.

I also realised that the less I blog, the more problem I have with words. I spent one whole minute trying to think of the word "inefficient" because I forgot what it was.

Blah.

Be back tomorrow.

SMRT proposes fare hike.

2005-05-02T18:54:00.000+08:00

In more updates of current affairs in Singapore, SMRT has fare hike on all buses and trains. It confirm that it has submitted an application to the Public Transport Council (PTC) to increase fares because of increases in oil prices.

This leads me to only have three words to say: What the Fuck.

Currently, if I travel on buses and trains, without the use of my concession. Each trip would make out to be:

$0.63 for the ride on the feeder service to the MRT Station
+ $1.20 (or so) for the train ride (to school for example)
+ $0.25 (I think) for the ride on the bus from MRT station to school
----------------
$2.08
----------------

Which is about $4 per day for me to travel to and fro to school. Which is cheaper because the train ride to school doesn't require me to make transits to another train or the NEL. If there is a need for me to change trains, which is like when I need to go downtown, then the ride to and fro would cost about almost $5 everyday.

And now they say they want to INCREASE fares for public transports?

They expect poor slaving students like ME to start walking to school?!?

Or do they expect the working class to start WALKING to work in their pants and suits?

Maybe it's a huge conspiracy to increase the fares of buses and trains, so people will start taking cabs, so that the taxi market in Singapore won't be overly saturated.

Yippee.

Mr Wee Kim Wee passes on..

2005-05-02T18:40:00.000+08:00

Mr Wee Kim Wee, who was Singapore's 4th President after Independance, has passed away this morning at 5am after a relapse of prostate cancer.

Perhaps it was due to the fact that he happened to be President when I was a young girl, with a newborn thirst of knowledge of every single thing (I started reading when I was in Kindergarten and then moved on to Encyclopedias at Primary One), but when he was President, Mr Wee really made quite a huge impression on me. He was a man who seemed to reach out to the people very often, in short, during his term as a President, he seemed to be able to command respect for what he was, and at the same time, the kind of authority he commanded never seemed to translate into any sort of fear, that some leaders might have over their people.

When he stepped down to pursue a civilian way of life, he never stepped away of making use of the influence he had to make good in areas like charity, and even stepping in to help during the SilkAir MI185 Crash.

In short, it is hard to imagine anyone who would be like Mr Wee, someone who has the ability to command enough respect and authority, yet being able to relate so closely to his people. Unfortunately in his case, little power lies in the hands of a President, otherwise it would've been interesting to see the kind of changes he would've made in Singapore and the kind of effects it would have.

To post condolences and read the article on Mr Wee Kim Wee, visit Channel News Asia

Bapok Palace

2005-05-01T22:10:00.000+08:00

Finicky Feline goes on a secret mission to explore what what goes on in Orchard Towers.

Which reminds me of something interesting a senior once told us of a lecturer.

Hmmm. *grin*

Overhead at Borders

2005-05-01T01:58:00.000+08:00

I overheard this conversation at borders between these two girls (i assume they are freshies this yr), one going into law, both at the law shelf at borders which is next to the pol sci shelf which is where I was browsing.

Conversation is as follows:

(supposedly) law freshie to be: oh i can't wait to go into law school, it's going to be so cool and so fun! look at all these books!

friend: silence

freshie: studying law is fun, but actually practicing it isn't

friend: silence (AGAIN)

freshie (prolly ignoring friend's silence): alot of lawyers actually tried to persuade me from going into law...(gives the i wonder why look)

Looking at how my friends in law bitch and whine about their assignments all the time, I wonder if the study of Law is really all the glam that its being made out to be. Someone please enlighten me.

Blogger Buzz

2005-04-30T23:54:00.000+08:00

The buzz around the local blogosphere right now; lawsuits, legal advice and the D word; DEFAMATION. Almost everyone is talking about it, and whether or not it is meant to be a joke/satire, everyone is talking about self-censorship on their own blogs.

I mean, fuck, the only reason we all started writing blogs is because we needed a space to air our views and voice our opinions without landing ourselves into any kind of serious trouble, and here we are, with one fellow Singaporean blogger having to account for words he mentioned on his blog.

Granted, one has to be responsibly for what he/she says on his blog, this is something I always believe in, but to be sued over that?

Its not really why he is sued that makes the differences, but rather, this issue has caused alot of bloggers to hold their tongue or to practice self-censorship. What's the point in blogging then, if we cannot say what we want to say? Heck, Xiaxue shoots her mouth off ALL the time, why can't someone SUE her?

Bleah.

The Binaries of Courtesy

2005-04-29T14:26:00.000+08:00

As Singaporeans, we all have heard reports about how rude and discourteous Singaporeans are. Now, the sources of all these claims are often not very transparent. I personally, have not much of an idea just how much of these claims are substantiated by actual accounts and examples, and just where the claims come from.

I am however, quite convinced that Singaporeans are not the only rude people. If anything, neither are the *gasp* Chinese/Indian nationals! Being in an educational instutition where campus itself is a small metropolitan city, everyday alot of us come into contact with alot of students who are either not locals, or have spent a very small amount of time in Singapore. It is also contact with such people that made me realise there is just no binary between the courteous/rude when it comes to Singaporeans/non-Singaporeans. The non-Singaporeans, who may/may not be the ones who accuse us of being rude people, are very often than not, rude-r than us!

I was at the Post Office today, settling some vPost shit, and besides me there was this other guy as well, who was posting some postcards. He definitely didn't look local, and his accent gave it away too (overhead him while he was talking to the counter staff). He was right behind me and both of us were about to leave the Post Office. Seeing that his hands were full, I held open the door for him so that he could get out. The normal reaction for anyone in my position would be to turn around and smile, and the normal reaction for anyone in his position would be to smile and say thanks, or at least acknowledge my effort right? NO! The fucking sonofabitch just stared at me like I was some alien, or idiot who open the door for him. Fuck! I should've just slammed the door in his fucking face and let the can of coke in his hands spill all over him!

Nabei!! Talk about Singaporeans being rude! This is not the first time I encounter something like that, where I hold open doors for people and they don't say thank you, to be sure I ALWAYS make sure I reciprocate such actions whenever people doors for me, with a loud and cheery "thank you!".

These fuckers!! Think what? You come Singapore to study then we all must be your servants open door for you isit? Kanineh!!! Even banglahs know how to say thank you when I hold doors open for them, what the fuck!!

As you all can see, I am super pissed with such people. Not that I expect someone to give me a treat if I hold open doors for them, but please, for goodness sakes!!! SAY THANK YOU LAH!!! Your mouth made of gold cannot talk isit? The worst thing was that the guy, just when he was leaving he actually said bye to the counter staff. Wah! Counter staff do you service you say bye to them, I hold open door for you I get nothing. Kanineh!!

Argh

2005-04-28T23:38:00.000+08:00

I've just gotten my allowance and I feel the horrible need to spend some moo-lah! Alas, I can't do this until my after my paper on Saturday, which I would be (hopefully) heading down to town to get some stuff.

I've been meaning to post something here, in response to Wannabe Lawyer's post on What it means to be a Singaporean. I might be taking things out of proportion, but I think to compare the US and Singapore is a mighty unfair, although I do agree with what he said about Singapore.

Anyway, my mind has been plagued with alot of horrigible ideas and frustrations, alot of which I find it difficult to articulate here. But it has alot to do with an incident involving alot of people and alot of shit. *sigh*

The problem with Humanity

2005-04-27T23:04:00.000+08:00

There has been some stuff that has been happening over awhile now, it has affected not only the people involved but me as well, not that I'm complicit, but these things tend to have a spillover effect. Unfortunately, I'm affected in a big way. When these things happen, I tend to just want to put it all behind me as soon as possible and get on with life. Unfortunately, people don't always think the same way as I do.

While it seems to me that they have tried not to put these things in the way of things, perhaps they really have. I really don't know. I don't know these people well and hence I don't know how well they can take these things into perspective and put it behind them. For the first time in my life, I'm put in a position where I can only use trust to work my way around things.

As much as I'd like to trust that these things aren't going to get in the way of alot of things, it doesn't seem to be the case. Everytime I think that things are getting better, something else always jumps out to remind that it hasn't. As much as I'd like to carry on going, I really feel like giving up. What is the point where I am so unhappy and bothered by the fact that deep down inside they may be thinking something else, and when they see me, it's a totally different thing altogether?

It is perfectly human to feel certain ways about things, and like what Huda says, I tend to be quite cool about things. Perhaps I really am, which explains my behaviour now. I'm not an escapist, but there are just some things you shouldn't harp upon and you just get on with life. I mean, fuck, even if you keep thinking about it, it's not going to help matters.

But this is also a problem with the way people are, and there is hardly ever a way I can get around it, and it kills me really. Which is why sometimes I just want to be left alone. Not that I hate my friends, but it just keeps me sane when I isolate myself from people around me from time to time. I know just how selfish this sounds, and it seems like I'm taking my friends for granted, but I am just like that in nature. I do cherish and love my friends, just because I don't want to spend time with you doesn't mean I don't see you as a friend anymore, if you ever run into a problem, I'd always be here for you to listen to your problems. Sometimes I just can't stand being around with people, especially people with whom I'm not sure how sincere they are towards myself.

Sometimes I just feel like running away to some isolated island and spend my life there. Just me, my iBook and an internet connection, oh yah, and only selected friends and family have special visiting priviledges.

Pragmatism of Singaporean government gone too far?

2005-04-26T21:15:00.000+08:00

In a letter written to the Straits Time's forum on Saturday, a reader expressed his opinion over why Singapore had been losing our competitive edge in Tourism due to incidents in the local zoo.

What was interesting in his letter is that he also highlighted that our MRT system was troublesome because the single trip EZ-link cards required users to pay a $1 deposit and then to obtain a refund after their trip.

I have no idea what the reason behind the $1 deposit thing is, but I have a nagging feeling that its because the cost of the EZ-link system is pretty high (one year after its implementation the cost is hardly recovered), and by making users pay a $1 deposit on their cards, you make sure that they don't run away with the cards, hence incurring more losses.

One can still remember the time when we still had the old system, and the single trip tickets would be "absorbed" by the "gateways" on your way out of the station.

The government's ability to create backup measures can be see in the latest episode over the casino. While the building of the Integrated Resorts (IR) with two casinos have been approved in Parliament, the government has also made provisions for those who are concerned about its social impact on Singaporeans. As a result, all locals now have to pay an entrance fee of $100 before entering the casino.

Pragmatism has been the way to go for the local government since independance in the 1960s, and providing safe guards and other backup measures is not an uncommon feature in many of the policies. For example, in order to promote racial harmony among us Singaporeans, we have policies like having a certain number of each race in our housing estates and apartment buildings. The thing is, are these preventive policies going to do more harm than good to us in the long run?

Especially in the casino issue, it seems that the government is making individual morality and ethics of each and every citizen its business. While it is the government's responsibility to ensure the security and well-being of every citizen, it is assumed that citizens are rational human beings and are able to take care of themselves on moral and ethical issues, such as that of gambling and addiction to it. The fact that citizens can take care of themselves is also something which the government has acknowledge. This being the case however, the policies that came up with the casino issue is evidence that the government is still living up to its name in the nanny state.

For that, who can really blame us for being pampered, spoilt-brats who are over reliant on the state to take care of us?

Moral Relativism - The way to go?

2005-04-25T17:39:00.000+08:00

In the past, moral absolutism seemed the way to go. Until post-modern thought appeared and changed everything. Postmodernism asserts that there is no one absolute truth. In short, post modernists propose that everything is relative. It certainly seems the case in our modern world, where different factors such as culture make certain practices seem proper, or normal in different backgrounds. For example, feet binding in China was abhorred by many in the Western world, however, if we take the cultural context into consideration, it was normalcy.

Cardinal Ratzinger (before he became Pope), was noted as saying,

"We are moving toward a dictatorship of relativism which does not recognize anything as for certain and which has as its highest goal one's own ego and one's own desires."

Should moral relativism change the way we see and judge morality? Is moral relativism even valid as a standard of morality? Moral relativism is defined as:

"Moral relativism is the idea that moral principles have no objective standard, so states its dictionary definition.

In its extreme, the view that there are no hard and fast rules on what is right and wrong, on which values are set and should be fought for.

It is in contrast to absolutism, that there is one truth."

If we take moral relativism as it is, does this mean that moral absolutism can no longer exist in this increasingly postmodern world?

Relativism itself, though consisting of many different strands, poses a problem in terms of analysis for many academics. By bringing in relativism in many aspects of academia, such as the study of whether certain processes, activities and traditions are seen as morally right or wrong, one will realise that, if everything is relative, then there is no way in which we can thoroughly study a certain act or practice.

For example, if we were to take issues such as the confinement (purdah) of Muslim women into consideration, relativism will explain is as it is cultural relative. While it may be seen as unacceptable in our secular world, it may be the perfectly normal thing to do in an Islam community because it is in their culture.

One can already imagine the various problems if any sort of human rights groups would want to come in and take a stand against any act that is seen to be against human rights. If the argument of relativism is brought up, then how can anyone claim to be fighting for human rights in another community?

Similarly, if we start to abide by moral relativism, imagine the problems states and groups would encounter. Certain communities believe in honour killing, for example, some ethnic groups believe that it is alright for a male relative to kill a woman if she is caught in bed with another man who is not her husband. Moral absolutism says that it is wrong to murder. What about moral relativism?

While it may be a good thing, in any form of debate or discussion, for any one individual to see things from the perspective of the other side, if we take it too far, then there might as well be no debate at all.

article taken from BBC Online via The Philosophers' Magazine Online.

Should Religion be Political?

2005-04-24T12:58:00.000+08:00

In a review of George Weigel's book, John Brady addresses the issue of the revival of the religious state, an issue fast becoming a concern for most secular states in which a single religion dominates the majority of the population. Brady suggests that religion would not help matters or solve problems that most secular states are experiencing right now;

"And indeed in the end, Weigel conflates Christianity and morality and argues that only the "reconversion" of Europe to Christianity will avert its demographic and moral crisis. Europe faces many political and social problems; they certainly will not be solved by a new crusade."

read the rest of the article here

The burning question here is that, should religion be part of politics as it once were before secularism seemed the way to go for many countries? To the religious, secularism seems to bring many problems, especially on issues of morality and ethics and it seems that bringing back religion to the state may be the answer.

But would religion, which is often conservative, solve the many problems that states are experiencing. Should religions even be political? The Catholics it seems, would say yes, afterall, one of the roles of the Papal office (if there is a term for this), is political. The world's biggest religions, Christianity, Catholicism and Islam have seen themselves in political roles throughout history.

Even in the secular world today, there seems to be a revival of religions in politics. Evidently, they may not be the best answer to problems faced by the secular world in the age of globalization. The Taliban regime in Afghanistan did no more than to give US President Bush a reason to invade them. From the direction of a liberal idea, these Islamic states and regimes seem to contribute little to the idea of individual freedom. Women have less rights and control over their own self because the regimes claim that religion requires them to segregate themselves from men completely, thus restricting them only to their own homes. Whether this is the case or not of course, is another story for another time.

Even Christians and Catholics are giving governments a tough time, over issues such as abortion and homosexuality. These two groups are adopting a very conservative stance, proposing solutions that give individuals no choice in these matters.

Religions tend to be conservative and even in the modern world, their stance has not changed on many issues. The problem therefore is, if religions are given more leeway to participate in politics, would their views be welcomed in a world where liberty and individual rights are a priority to most states and societies?

Stumbled!!

2005-04-24T00:57:00.000+08:00

I got Stumbled Upon!! Apparently it's some website that lets you download a toolbar, such that when you surf and such, when you see a webpage you like, you can "StumbleUpon" it and add it to a certain list of favourites. I went to download the toolbar and stuff, and I'm still quite new to it though, give it a try!!!

To that person who StumbledUpon me, MANY THANKS!! It's good to know that my writings/or lack of it, is being appreciated by someone. *laugh* =D

Alternatively, click the box under links to visit my StumbleUpon page.

Racism in Singapore

2005-04-23T15:58:00.000+08:00

Inspired by Expat @ Large's comment on Steve Mc Dermott's post on Individualism as a kind of Infantilism

In multi-racial Singapore, it almost seems taboo to even talk about the big R word. Afterall, it has been drilled into us since we became members of the education system in Singapore that we need to respect the other different races, because we live so close to each other, because of the racial riots which killed many people, because...

The problem is, while we willingly accept the policies of the government to promote and maintain racial harmony in Singapore, how effective is it? In the public housing estates we have the racial quotas where in every block of flats there are a certain number of Chinese, Malays, Indians, and others. We are made to live/study/work/play with people of other races by virtue of the racial make up of society. But after years of being reminded in subtle manners not to be racist, does this mean that Singaporeans aren't racist?

In a recent article in the papers, local political satire website TalkingCock.Com has been criticised for including racist jokes in its website. While we would want to believe that websites and other institutions that represent Singapore and its people ought not to be racist, we forget that racist jokes are part of our daily lives. Who can say that he/she has never heard a joke about mats/ah nehs/manjens? One may make a claim for this by arguing that indulging in racist jokes need not necessarily make us racist, but because we acknowledge the fact that we are different and by joking about it we are able to accept our differences and laugh at each other, even ourselves.

Point taken. Jokes aside, how about our daily experiences with people not of our own race? We whine and complain about the bodily scents of some, about the stupidity and laziness of others, about the arrogance and holier-than-thou attitude of the rest. We cast stereotypes and dislike the habits and attitudes of people based on the colour of their skin. Even the ang mohs in Singapore are not spared from this.

As much as we would like to believe that living in a multi-racial society as accepting the fact that we live with people who may not be of the same race as us, and accepting they are different in certain ways yet are humans just like us, how many of us can bravely stand up among the rest of us and proclaim that he/she is not racist, not even a little bit?

Beauty

2005-04-22T21:24:00.000+08:00

A Whore with More has it. I have one too!!

Beauty Essentials:

Head:
Pantene Shampoo & Conditioner
Ginvera Olive Oil with Green Tea
Honey Hair Mask (no brand)

Face:
Bobbi Brown's Lathering Tube Soap
Oil of Ulay Moisturizing Lotion

Make up:
Maybelline Clear Smooth Two way Foundation
Body Shops Liquid Eyeliner
Lancome Waterproof Mascara
Body Shop Blusher
Lip Gloss - Red Earth
Body Shop Clear Eyelash Gel

Body:
Dove Body Soap
Body Shop Brazil Nut Body Scrub
Body Shop Blueberry Body Butter

As you can see, the frequency of my posts increases only when I am having my exams. I am amazed at my ability to procastinate. I have a paper on Monday yet I'm slacking. Geez.

Infantile?!?

2005-04-22T13:13:00.000+08:00

Steve McDermott has done it. He insulted my favourite blogger, mr brown. In his post, Steve laments that the two most popular blogs, as well as most blogs in Singapore, brown & Xiaxue are well, infantile. He is issuing a challenge to each and every Singaporean on the world wide web to point to him a local blog that is "mature".

But I would like to ask, Infantile to whom? Mature in what sense? (I'm not a big fan of Xiaxue so I shall not attempt to ~~criticise~~ deconstruct her style of writing. Brown, on the other hand, is your typical Singaporean ~~uncle~~. He, and his trusty pals mr Miyagi and Cowboy Caleb can often he ~~heard~~ read blogging not only about their personal lives, but introducing political satire as well. Isn't this what us Singaporeans are most familair with? Perhaps it is a form of cowardice, that we are unable to stand up to really speak our minds against the government's policies, that we can only resort to creating humour out of their policies.

If Mature means blogging about proper political/current affairs discussion and debate, perhaps its not so much that there isn't ANY bloggers in Singapore who do that, but because Singaporean bloggers are not as politicised as our Western counterparts. But this does not mean that there are a lack of mature bloggers in the local blogosphere. Similarly, this does not mean, also, that Singaporean attitudes to contemporary issues are "infantile".

If a high readership to "infantile" blogs = "infantile" attitude to contemporary issues, then does this necessarily mean that adults who read books like Harry Potter and watches cartoons are "infantile"?

Spotted!

2005-04-22T13:05:00.000+08:00

Asian Prince *Agagooga's website has his pic* look-a-like at NUS SRC!!

He's one of those contractor guys who hang around often to fix this and that.

Too bad I don't have my phone with me, or else would've snapped a pic of him. *damn*

On another note, removed the tag-board because I don't see the point of having both a comments section and a tag board. Trying to be economical here. Haha.

Feminism

2005-04-22T09:46:00.000+08:00

Before anyone starts to groan and whine about this being another bra-burning post, stop. I'm not going to start preaching about the wonders and benefits of Feminism and how it has changed my life. Rather, this is about the experiences with Feminism, and if it really delivers what it means to deliver.

Feminism is a reaction to what is being perceived as a society that is being controlled by men. It is a situation where women are being seen to be oppressed, and unable to take control of their own lives and body. The phrase, "The Personal is Political." just about sums up the entire argument. Feminists believe that government legislation and politics affect not only the public (political) sphere, but also the private (domestic) sphere as well.

However, the issue here is, how relevant is Feminism in the world today? If so, should women all over the world practice some form of solidarity of sisterhood and embrace the same form of Feminism, the same kind of practices and belief systems?

The problem is that Feminist theory developed as a reaction from Western women to Western society. Hence, much of the discussion and debate is centered upon the Western world, that of the USA and Europe. Feminism ought not to be universal because there are cultural contexts that need to be taken in mind. In other regions such as Asia, where the community is often stressed upon over the individual, other factors such as religion and the prevailing cultures must be taken into consideration.

Western feminists argue that in order for women to empowerment themselves and gain control over their own lives and bodies, women MUST move away from the patriarchal system, they MUST work in a secular environment and create a niche of their own.

In Asia however, alot of the identity of women are tied to their religion and community. The foundations for self empowerment is already formed inside the structure, and hence it would be useless for them to work outside it. The issue here however, is that women need to be educated in this. That they have a choice. Between working within the existing societal structures or outside of it.

Universalities in Feminist scholarship therefore should not exist, rather, debates and discussions on the empowerment of women and agency ought to be sensitive to cultural differences.

2005-04-22T09:02:00.000+08:00

Black is Beautiful.

Prozac Nation - The Movie

2005-04-17T23:58:00.000+08:00

I downloaded the movie a while ago, but never had the chance to watch it cause I didn't have the codec and was too lazy to download it. After having to download it because I wanted to watch Desperate Housewives, I managed to catch Prozac Nation as well.

For those who have already read the book, Prozac Nation is MUCH shorter, with MUCH less details. It more or less only covers the early years of Elizabeth Wurtzel but is still a good watch. It's kinda hard to express the emotions written about in the book on the silver screen, but the director manages to do it nonetheless with superb cinematographic skills.

Having read the book, I was quite disappointed when I saw the movie because despite the brilliant cinematography in some scenes, there was otherwise very little expression of the emotions and feelings felt by Elizabeth when she had depression. Perhaps it's difficult to express through action what someone was really going through then, unless you were that someone.

Nonetheless, Prozac Nation is worth a watch, Christina Ricci as the lead character is convincing, Jessica Lange as her mother plays an equally compelling role.

Random thoughts continued..

2005-04-14T23:26:00.000+08:00

Close friends of mine would know that in December 2003, I got out of a relationship. Eventually the guy in question and I dragged things on for almost half a year before I finally decided to end things once and for all.

Since then, I've always told the people around me, and even myself, that I've gotten over it. Well, truth is, I HAVE gotten over him. But like everyone else, walking out of a relationship is difficult, and we always have some things to take away from it. Unfortunately, I realised that I haven't quite learnt to walk out of the shadow of it all.

He broke up with me out of a sudden, just a phone call one fine day to say that he didn't think we should see each other anymore. We talked things through, and decided to give it another try. This happened for the next 6 months.

(fast forward 6 months)

I found out, that despite claims that he loved me etc, he was seeing someone else behind my back. He had fallen for someone else.

The fact that he fell for someone else wasn't what hurt the most.

The fact that he KNEW he was in love with another girl, the fact that he didn't tell me and continued to lead me on into believing that he still liked me was what it hurt the most. He lied to me about still being in love with me, which he wasn't anymore.

I know I haven't quite walked out of the shadow of this because there is the fear of this happening again. Fear in this case, therefore translates into jealousy.

You may think that this jealousy isn't justified. I agree. But its the fear in me that causes this, and try I might, its hard to not feel the fear.

You can say that it's my own responsiblity to walk out of this.

Yes, but I cannot do this alone. You are in the best position to help me walk out of this, if you don't, then who will? I'd like to get out of this shit too, but I cannot do it alone.